Tuesday, March 31, 2009

RETROSPECTIVE: A bit of summer

From Jason Cox: Beijing summer league 2007 -- a nice thought on this, the last day of March.

Monday, March 30, 2009

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: The return of Doc and Jeff!

This post needs no explication.

Friday, March 27, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: Countdown to Tianjin: one week

Preparation for the April 4 Tianjin tournament continues. Word is there'll be a large party bus shuttling folks to and from Tianjin, which means this year's tourney promises to be more fun than last time. (Also, Shanghai's coming, meaning there may be 10 teams playing four games each.)


From Helen Lu

These two from Happy Rat completely defy words:

air kazak

hey all
this is hapyrat maybe not but i m not represent myself today i speak for kazak .
tmrw is our birthday 2 years we gonna (celebrate) it .
hope you guys join us it is gonna be awesome.
you will see a new champion team ...
ho ho
tomorrow 1 pm at min zu da xue .
contact person ( nurbek ) 13426444110
he will pick you up when you get trouble around there.

by the way i m in tibet now still working on air tibet no one knows what's tomorrow
but i can give you my word you will shoked by air (????) some day .
and on china open we gonna send two teams maybe 3 ( air kazak team A and B , and our air brounch -------air woo from WU HAN . CHINA )
those guys gonna kick your ass

any quesetion just dianhua me ....



come on check it out your presedent is on my side .....

check it out you will find your right presedent :


a hamble player who befor he became the presedent of the most powerful country of the world he was in air kazak ...

if i were u i would say shut up happyrat.....shut up

what do you say ?

I will be profoundly disappointed if these posts don't get multiple replies.

This Happy Rat, by the way.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Jeju 2008, party theme "Mystery"; Big Brother as characters from Clue

Monday, March 23, 2009

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Bang like a gangster

Right now I am an anti-Christ. And I am an anarchist. Don't know what I want, but I know how to get it. I want to destroy.
--Megadeth, "Anarchy in the U.K."

The cult that is Beijing Bang kept trying to get the Beijing Ultimate community to drink its kool-aid at Saturday's party, prompting the phrase "No, I'm good with my beer, thanks" to be said at least 18 times -- only slightly fewer than Ken Su saying, "Motherfucker."

Also, we're not welcome at Alishan Hotpot anymore.

Other than that, it was good. Only six people died, and one of them doesn't play Frisbee.

An open letter from the event organizers:

Thanks to everyone who came out Saturday night to the Bang! Bang! Bang! event.

It was really great to see so many people out having a good time.

For those who couldn't make it and/or those who drank so much they cannot remember details, here's a bit of a recap:

Dinner at Alishan Hotpot at Xizhimen was an impressive sight to see with over 30 Gangsters lined up along both sides of what we believe to be the largest indoor food locomotive in Beijing (if not the world) which pulled cars filled with everything from extra soup to a wide array of veggies, seafood, meat, as well as condiments/tissue paper.

Notable outfits included Donald De Bona Brasco and his mafia girlfriend Helen, Fashionista C. Dice Lee kicking it old school complete with new age ghetto blaster, and Paisan Pelicano sporting shades, stubble, and a true italian wife beater.

Everyone took full advantage of the eat and drink all-you-can within 90 minutes as the entire Gang set into a giant feeding frenzy punctuated with non-stop bottles of Beijing Beer. Not that anyone needed any excuses to drink faster, but widespread participation of Caps (Yan Hao now knows that if a cap lands in his drink he needs to drink it all) increased consumption and also led to the restaurant confiscating most of the bottle caps and serving beer a bit slower.

After we shut down the restaurant we headed en masse to the heart of the Russian District and descended on Chocolate - The perfect Gangsta's Paradise, complete with gaudy decor, Russian dancers, dance floor poles, and plush 'private' booths.

Despite service slower than continental drift (apparently us frisbee Gangsters get less attention from the servers than the Eatern European mob crews or Chinese hotshots) the crew still managed to get through 6 bottles of Vodka which may be the excuse for some of the fun which included among other things:
- Yin exhausting the sugar and lemon inventories of the club to make pitchers of lemon drop shooters for everyone
- Joe climbing up half way to the ceiling on the dancing pole
- Adam getting up close and personal centre in the middle of the dance floor with what appeared to be a rather heavy-set Russian 'woman' that was double his weight.
- Tina using Tao as a punching bag after Tao was toying with her panda bag.

Also, we all apologise to Shen for not staying out past 3:30am as he was trying to contact us and join at that time - Next time for sure.

Thanks again to everyone who was able to make it and hope a good time was had by all.

We look forward to the next chance to party.

BJ Bang

Here are some pictures (remember that the party theme was "Gangsters"):

The DiMeo Family vs. the Triad?

Train bandit.

The fuwuyuans gather to discuss how best to kill us.

Poor Kelly.

Off to Chocolate, the Russian nightclub near Ritan Park.

Panda loved it.

Boehner had a good costume. Kevin and Therese were stylin'. Steven probably most resembled a 21st century mobster. Joe... no comment. But the best get-up award has to go to Brian Marterer, whose attire went so far beyond garish that it actually transcends tackiness and falls in a category between "sweet" and "unbelievable." We don't know what to call it...

Friday, March 20, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: The Beijing Bang party preview

Beijing Ultimate had its Wednesday pickup at Guomao per usual and, of course, spring league on Sunday (which we've discussed and will not again). This has been a somewhat quiet week and may be a quieter weekend, with Alicia and Lauren in Xian, Doc in Japan, Sandy in Boracay and at least a couple of the guys tethered to girlfriends. Even still, the community's holding a party.


From Beijing Bang's message board:

Dear BJ Ultimate Community,

You are all cordially invited to an action packed Saturday (this coming weekend - March 21st) hosted by your friends from BJ Bang Ultimate Club.
北京帮即将组织三月份的活动。时间定在本周六晚上(3月21日)。我们现在诚恳的邀 请你(和你的朋友们 )来参加我们的活动 。

It is a 3 part event with live action, theme dinner, and plenty of boozing to make for a great time.
整个活动由3个部分组成:下午的现场活动 ,主题晚餐,和酒吧之夜。保证大家玩儿的开心 。

We hope you can join all 3 parts, but we understand if you can only join certain parts - please see details below and RSVP for each part so we know which portions you can attend so that we can formalise arrangements with the venues.

PART 1: Bang! Bang! Bang! 幇! 幇! 幇!

The day starts off with Paintball this Saturday: 真人 CS 彩弹这个周六

Meet at HuiLongGuan 回龙观 subway station A at 13:00 on Saturday! Line 13
下午13:00在地铁13号线 回龙观站 A 见面

Two Levels 两个消费等级

100Kuai for 50 paintballs 100块 50发子弹
180Kuai for 100 paintballs 180块 100发子弹

After that 1.60Kuai each one! 打完这些,每发1块6

Anyone who can make paintball please contact Helen 13911082545 or lshao...@gmail.com before Saturday. We will have two teams and there will be plenty of action!
如果有谁想参加,请于周六以前联系 HELEN 13911082545 或者 lshao...@gmail.com

Hope see you there!

PART 2: Gangster Theme Party/Dinner with party games - 黑市帮 - 帮帮忙

Saints in the Boondocks; Underground Hong Kong; Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, and HBO’s Sopranos. Mafia, deck of cards; Triads in the Mainland; Yakuza in Japan. Set trippin’ gangstas; caps in yo a**; Drinking booze; Battle caps; Dressed in black; Dinner with the Bangstas. Dress to kill, it’ll be a thrill; No excuse; It’s an offer you can’t refuse; or Six feet under, it’s up to you.

Starts at 6pm and for the great price of Rmb40 you get all you can eat Taiwanese Hot Pot AND unlimited beer. Fire up your best gangster get-up and get ready to drink it up.

Location is at Xizhimen Jiamao Plaza,the 6th floor. take subway to Xizhimen, and you'll see it right after you come out from Exit A.

RSVP to Helen as well for dinner at 13911082545 or lshao...@gmail.com.

PART 3: Gang Pub Crawl - 黑市帮逛酒吧街

After cleaning out the beer supply of the restaurant the entire Gang can then proceed to dazzle and drink their way through Beijing's pubs, bars, and clubs. If you are lucky you may see Tina take Shen out again, Joe breaking some glass, or any number of things that we have come to expect from BJ Ultimate Community events.

We hope you can all come out and join the fun and look forward to hearing from you.

See you Saturday.星期六见。

This part is worth highlighting and rereading:

Saints in the Boondocks; Underground Hong Kong; Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, and HBO’s Sopranos. Mafia, deck of cards; Triads in the Mainland; Yakuza in Japan. Set trippin’ gangstas; caps in yo a**; Drinking booze; Battle caps; Dressed in black; Dinner with the Bangstas. Dress to kill, it’ll be a thrill; No excuse; It’s an offer you can’t refuse; or Six feet under, it’s up to you.


Tao, responding to a thread, on Evil:

"A man's at odds to know his mind cause his mind is aught he has to know it with. He can know his heart, but he dont want to. Rightly so. Best not to look in there. It aint the heart of a creature that is bound in the way that God has set for it. You can find meanness in the least of creatures, but when God made man the devil was at his elbow. A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make the machine. And evil that can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it. You believe that?

"I dont know.

"Believe that."

--Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

You look inside the depressed chest of Doc and Jim and Betsy and all those piteously deceived ensnared in Team Evil's web of Iniquity and see a blackened gourd amid a depraved hollow, Argus-eyed Sinister perched in its sulphurous Aerie, ready to molt char and ash to lay bare the face of Evil itself upon our unsuspecting world, stippling the sky with drops of antic blood and fire. The face that descends upon you, like the succubus, is symmetrical and seductive, and wholly evil. If you must look, do not be charmed. Tie yourself to the mast. This is your warning. Evil shall not and will not prevail. Believe that.


All That is Good in the World

Tuesday, March 17, 2009



Translation: "Another beer, please." "Make that ten."

Monday, March 16, 2009

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Spring league beginnings...

He said that even the sepulturero would understand that every tale was a tale of dark and light and would perhaps not have it otherwise. Yet there was still a further order to the narrative and it was a thing of which men do not speak. He said the wicked know that if the ill they do be of sufficient horror men will not speak against it. That men have just enough stomach for small evils and only these will they oppose. He said that true evil has power to sober the smalldoer against his own deeds and in the contemplation of that evil he may even find the path of righteousness which has been foreign to his feet and may have no power but to go upon it. Even this man may be appalled at what is revealed to him and seek some order to stand against it. Yet in all of this there are two things which perhaps he will not know. He will not know that while the order which the righteous seek is never righteousness itself but is only order, the disorder of evil is in fact the thing itself. Nor will he know that while the rigtheous are hampered at every turn by their ignorance of evil to the evil all is plain, light and dark alike. This man of which we speak will seek to impose order and lineage upon things which rightly have none. He will call upon the world itself to testify as to the truth of what are in fact but his desires. In his final incarnation he may seek to indemnify his words with blood for by now he will have discovered that words pale and lose their savor while pain is always new.
--Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing

Game 1: Team Evil, 6; Team All That is Good in the World, 5.

But it is not over. We will indemnify our words with only the blood of the evildoers and we will continue speaking against it until proper restitution has been paid, the alkahest restored in the form of blood of our enemies if necessary.

Friday, March 13, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: Lights in the city of wonder

Alternatively: a forehand in the city of light. It's good to play outside.


Doc and Jim, Wednesday at the Guomao field


Jim Kirchhoff: "Hey Ultimate community!! Edward from Tianjin has asked us to compile the numbers of people who will be attending the April 4th ultimate frisbee event they are hosting. There are a few simple questions, please take a moment to select the appropriate boxes below."



Tao responding to Betsy's random email:

Can Betsy at least *TRY* to be as cool as this girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLZ9JpvitUQ please?


Tragically, "Daisy" was taken months ago. Keep up Betsy. Maybe if you came on tuesday night, you'd know all this. And sure, i've seen you sulking in the back of the bar, covering your eyes and plugging your ears. That doesn't count.

Poor, poor Betsy. (She's getting old.)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

GUEST POST: the random email from betsy

hey flatballers,

i'm sure i was not the only one to notice, and i'm sure that you have decided to leave it up to me to call him out on it. well here goes: jeff, your pathetic attempts at stealing credit from me and duff for the single most successful day of ultimate in the history of beijing was just sad. i'm sure your friends will forgive you someday, but it probably won't be a while. i think it's best for everyone if you just stay away for the next few weeks. let's call it a moratorium. and not a moratorium in the way that you've 'quit' smoking. but a real moratorium. no exceptions. we will
review your petition to return in early may, at the same time we review ken 2.0's.

don't forget we have frisbee tonight. it's outside, because it seems the majority of you like playing in cold, smog and wind, when we could be playing inside. well, you asked for it, and you better be there tonight.

the weekly quiz:

betsy has installed hidden cameras in all your homes. which of the following is the reason she most wishes she had not:

a) after watching kevin, his girlfriend, and their housekeeper in the laundry room, just hearing the word threesome makes betsy nausous

b) jim and char have been playing monopoly for two weeks. it's the game that never ends. and betsy can't turn away. no, char, don't roll an 8. you can't afford to land on marvin gardens with four houses. you've spent your whole life trying not to go into debt. don't do it now. don't you realize that 70% of relationships fall apart becasue of financial matters?

needless to say, betsy hasn't been sleeping well this week

c) the no pants rule at doc, candice and alicia's is definitely best left to the imagination.

d) first sandy slept with chris. then chris slept with chip's girlfriend, while chip watched. then sandy slept with chip's girlfriend, while chris watched. then mini hulk burst in, threw the refrigerator out the window, because he hates any tangible reminders of his sober self, and then ran upstairs and inappropriately fondled chip, while sandy watched. in the process, a blue vase was broken. betsy always liked that vase.


new business:

betsy has learned that we have a new player who's coming to beijing. her name is charlotte. apparently she is conceited and gets belligerent when she's been drinking red bull. but betsy won't hold that against her. but she will hold it against her if she thinks that she can come to beijing and take betsy's place as the supreme diva. this is my town, sister. but i'm sure barbie would like some company in my entourage.

here's what charlotte has to say for herself:

hi betsy,

i heard you like baking. because someone said you like to make donuts. i think we are going to be great friends.

i'm going to be coming to beijing at the end of march. i grew up in ohio. my family moved around a lot, one of the perks of growing up in a mobile home. of course, there were a lot of tornadoes, but we learned to cope. i like drinking beer on the porch, cruising the strip at night, hanging out in the dairy queen parking lot, and listening to ac/dc cover bands. i heard there is a sweet band that plays at tun every tuesday night. i'm so excited.

so, i'm coming to beijing to study mandarin and find a part time job. anyone that has any leads on apartments or work (teaching or otherwise) please let me know. i'd prefer not to waitress though. i've had enough of that, doing double shifts at the all night diner. but hey, it beats stripping!

so seriously, if anyone has any useful information that will help me settle in beijing, my email is yellowspiderlove at gmail.com.

see you all in a few weeks,

thanks charlotte. beijing ultimate appreciates honesty from it's soon to be community members. especially after the way kevin mislead us with his nice guy routine.

and in the spirit of tradition, charlotte's new beijing ultimate nickname is daisy. please update your rolodexes accordingly.


which brings us to your moment of zen:


catch you at the fields,


Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Bottoms up in Tianjin, May 10, 2008.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


An unexpected and decidedly untimely illness I fully blame on Sandy has caused me to miss this weekend's events, including the opening of Duff's ISB spring league and Big Brother's second practice. Beijing Ultimate will return next week with a full round of material, assuming this writer doesn't come into contact with that walking plague Sandy Wang.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

RETROSPECTIVE: Balance's highlight video from Hong Kong '08

Balance Wang is more or less the videographer of China Ultimate. This is his latest work:

Monday, March 2, 2009

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Part 2: Introducing Mrs. Kevin... and battle caps

Therese Mendez, Kevin's girlfriend we've been hearing so much about, finally turned up over the weekend. She's with Kevin in the below picture, ON THE LEFT (I already can't tell the two apart).

Kevin called a BCD (Boozy Chinese Dinner) in her honor at our regular BCD place in Guijie (the dining street of Beijing near Dongzhimen... I suppose if you don't live here that clarifies exactly nothing). It started a bit slow but then I threw a bottle cap at someone's glass, because that's how I roll, and that started a chain reaction -- and the night, one could say. Soon Kevin hit three of four on me, forcing me to chug three glasses of beer (a bit too quickly), and then Mike Shyu took these videos:

At the very end of the second video, it's Therese finishing what Kevin can't: throwing a cap into my beer. And Chris Boehner at the 38-second mark delivers the money quote: "This is what every BCD turns into."

This was, of course, before we asked the fuwuyuan (server) to bring us 10 beers -- big bottles of Yangjing -- followed a couple minutes later with, "You know what... just bring us a case." Repeated several times.

One of the fuwuyuans got into the game, too, dropping a couple caps in Boehner's beer (she had a crush on him, like half the Asian girls in this city). Then she scooped up caps from other rooms and started bringing them to us him.

We made a rule that if at any time you didn't drink fast enough and were caught with two caps in your glass, you'd have to drain a bottle. This unleashed furies unseen since the days of the Greek. Soon there was mayhem. Disaster unbound. Shouting and pointing and back-stabbing (Alicia...) and total ignorance of how to play the game from Sandy. Glasses clinked, caps crossed mid-flight, Joe's competitiveness flared. Not really sure how to describe this except to repeat that this is what every BCD turns into. Eventually Joe flung bottles -- bottlessss -- into the wall, where they shattered, and then he lost his jacket in Sanlitun.

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Part 1: What a four-day bender feels like


Thursday: Tiger beer night.

Friday: baijiu/soju at dinner, then vodka night at the Shyus:

Me: "Hey, how can I arrange my chips to emphasize that I have the most?"

Answer: "I'm gonna build a house."

It was only appropriate I lost -- multiple times, if you count the times I advised Cassie to go all in (and lost) -- the next game. The vodka had something to do with it.