Friday, April 30, 2010

WEEK IN REVIEW: Chugging along into spring and summer

As we ready ourselves for a three-day weekend, we look back, per usual, on the week that was.

(A reminder that Jeju Gnarly Nines is this weekend, which not one in Beijing will attend.)


Technically happened last Saturday, at kickball:

Pictures courtesy of Alicia


Check out the above. It was the first game played on Saturday, April 27. Tao and Kevin went up 3-0 before Baby Girl and Nihir stormed back to take a 6-5 lead. They had game-point two other times, at 7-6 and 8-7. Then Tao hit a rebuttal that would have tied the game. Kevin followed wit a demoralizer FTW. The teams combined to make six rebuttals; 30 total caps made.

These are your standings as of now:

Power Poll:

1. Tao
2. Kevin
3. Nihir
4. Baby Girl
5. Chaitkin
6. Sandy
7. Gareth
8. Matt
9. Alicia
10. Jim

Caps per 7 (min. 5 games played):

1. Tao, 2.32
2. Baby Girl, 2.09
3. Kevin, 2.03
4. Nihir, 1.96
5. Nora, 1.90
6. Matt, 1.82
7. Jeff, 1.81
8. Chaitkin, 1.80
9. Sandy, 1.75
10. Joe, 1.60

Win percentage (min. 10 games played):

1. Kevin, 73.9
2. Baby Girl, 69.1
3. Tao, 58.3
4. Nihir, 54.4
5. Matt, 53.3
6. Gareth, 52.9
Everyone else is under .500


Lincoln, 4/26

me love you long time ?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

RETROSPECTIVE: This girl has left us

Shan (not to be confused with Shen) came to us from Boston by wind, in November, and immediately became an integral part of the Beijing Ultimate community. She played with us through the winter season, was on the Big Brother team that recently won the Tianjin tournament and, as you'll see through these pictures, was a generally good sport all the time. Shan, we'll miss you. We always knew this day would come, but now that it's here and gone, everything seems to have happened too fast.

Chinese New Year



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Monday, April 26, 2010


The Ultimate Frisbee team in Candice's kickball extravaganza ended up going 0-4-1 with one-near fight and lots of shenanigans. (Not as many people got drunk and lost stuff as last year, and things weren't generally so contentious.) Our team, the Super Dupers, were "superheroes that didn't quite make the cut." I was the Pink Phantom.

Picture by Ben Redden

Picture by Alicia Lui

More pictures to come later, possibly in next week's Retrospective. (Update: pictures here.)

Friday, April 23, 2010

WEEK IN REVIEW: Life as usual

Wednesday pickup at Jianwai Soho was very poorly attended, probably because it was raining. Three new players -- two complete beginners -- came though, so there's that.


Renda University


Yin and Pnut take the honors with this exchange:


hi guys,
a friend of mine is running an event where they need some white people to attend. its 800rmb/day so if you need a little extra cash, and youre not ugly, please respond to heres some further info:


Dear Yin,

Perhaps you relish in the glory of being exoticized. Oh yes, being the hot Canadian Asian girl that you are, I'm sure you are aware what a true rarity you must be among New Yorkers. ( And as I recall, you do like to go for a spin around the pole at Chocolate. :P) As for me, however, I would rather gauge out my eyes than to ever be viewed as "exotic." I just simply find the idea of being "exotic" to be quite distasteful.

What I find even more distasteful, disgusting in fact, are the social and economic implications of the privilege that is continually bestowed on our white friends. It offends me that, for merely being white, a person can get paid more in three days than the average monthly salary of an engineer in China. It disgusts me, that the privileged continue to be advantaged in China, while the man peddling his wares for 1 or 2 kuai on the street corner, much less the farmer in rural China could only dream of such an opportunity - but unfortunately, they were not born white. It disgusts me more that to be modern in China, to seek upward mobility and advancement in China, requires some sort of imitation of "whiteness" or of the "West" or that being "white" is so unquestionably associated with the positives of being "foreign" and "developed" - God forbid a black man show up.

I totally agree, the world is what it is. But that's no excuse for ignorance. So yeah, if you are a good-looking, cash strapped, white person, by all means, go for it. You gotta do what you gotta right? It's just too bad, I won't ever get paid for standing around and being Asian. To each their own. As for me, I merely think that it is a shame that some things in this world are so outrageously ridiculous and that things like a person's being white can be made into a commodity and attraction.

And as for something being totally irrelevant except for the fact that it is an example of something totally absurd:

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


China Nationals 2009:

Pictures by Perkin Chai and Mike Shyu

Monday, April 19, 2010


The recap of Tianjin Open 2010 is now available on the China Ultimate blog. Here's the synopsis for you Beijing Ultimate followers:

Gareth Marshall injured his hamstring on the first point of the first game on Saturday -- a 11-9 loss to Tianjin Speed (technically our first game was an 11-0 win over Maple Leaf High School, but that doesn't really count) -- and sat the rest of the weekend as the following squad --

Pat Li
Jeff Orcutt
Caleb (until he split his ear not quite halfway through finals)
Jesse (Saturday only)
Baby Girl (Sunday only)
Jehan (Sunday only)
Tina Xue

-- won the tournament.

In the semis we beat Shanghai 11-9 in a hard-fought game (we were down 3-1 to start). In the finals we beat a very game, very competitive Tianjin Speed squad by the same score. It was a bit testy at times, but it was finals, and it's been so long since Big Brother last won anything...

Joe Pellicano and Matt Mueller made for an invaluable cheering squad. (Betsy will have more to say about Joe a bit later.) Matt, with Gareth and Baby Girl, also won the party for Big Brother, which means we won both the party and the tournament. Awesome.

Our prizes:

Beijing Bang finished fourth after losing to Huwa in the 3rd-place game.

Big Brother game scores:
vs. Maple Leaf: 11-0
vs. Speed: 9-11
vs. Bang B: 11-3
vs. TEDA: 11-2

vs. Five Star: 11-1
vs. Shanghai: 11-9
vs. Speed: 11-9

Friday, April 16, 2010

WEEK IN REVIEW: Ready for Tianjin Open

As Big Brother and Beijing Bang (and Bang Bang, i.e. Bang B) prepare for Tianjin Open this weekend, you may be interested to know that no Beijing club team has won a high-level open tournament since, well, Singapore 2004. Bang came close to winning last year when it finished second at China Nationals. The autumn before that, at Hong Kong's Pan-Asian Tournament in 2008, Big Brother lost 15-11 in finals to Sunken Pleasure. Big Brother also lost in the finals of Dalian '09 and Tianjin '09, both times to Shanghai (Shanghai wins a lot).

That's your bit of Beijing Ultimate history for the day.


Wednesday pickup (that wasn't); we played Tao's game of "Frisbee baseball" (if you don't know, you were among the majority who didn't show up Wednesday.


Betsy and Lauren share the honors.

April 13, Betsy:

big brother,

tie up them laces, put on your sunscreen, and get pumped: it’s tournament time! remember those suicides mean ol’ gareth made us run? this weekend is when it pays off. get an extra day of throwing in this week, get to the gym and loosen up, come to pickup on wednesday. come out fired up and ready to dominate.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Wednesday, Pick Up, 8:30-10:30, Jianwai SOHO
Saturday and Sunday, Tianjin Open


WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

April 17-18: Tianjin Open
April 24-25: Singapore Women and Open
May 1-2: Jeju Gnarly Nines
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague

props to those who made some hat tournaments to get your pre-season touches in. this weekend is tianjin, the first opportunity for big brother’s 2010 roster to gel in a tournament. watch the google group site for details on transportation, lodging, and other logistics. get psyched everyone. big brother will be sending one team only and will be working on defining roles and trying different lines. talk to jim and gareth if you are unclear about their vision for you. hint: it likely involves horses, ice cream, n cake.

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a call out to jehan. it’s been a while since betsy has semi-permanently called someone out. congratulations jehan. you’ve been back in town for what, a month now? start doing awesome things immediately.

a shout out to jim. jim rigged won the recent ningbo hat using mike nads a cunning strategy of zone to embarrass outperform his adversaries. jim’s achievements remind himself us all that he is not only a super great humble man, but also a super great(?) just plain great leader.

a call out to gareth. because of your lollygagging, there was not a single suicide run at last week’s practice. your penance will be one suicide for every suicide not run. betsy will help you with the math if you are confused. it’s forty-two.

a shout out to puma. puma of ningbo fame was the only person to dress up for the star wars theme. he went in full S.W.A.T gear complete with facepaint. betsy hasn’t been this confused by a costume since baby girl dressed up in a pink tutu for barbie’s pink party.

a call out to hhh. if you keep showing up at parties and gatherings, betsy is going to have to start shouting you out more often. you’ve been warned.

a shout out to matt. matt wins the award for enduring the most crap while traveling to a tournament, and came out smelling like roses on the other side.

a call out to sandy. sandy missed two weeks of practice, the ningbo hat tournament, a ridiculous margarita party, and she didn’t even invite betsy to maui. suicides for you as well.

a shout out to ningbo. thanks for the awesome tournament and thanks for buying five more cases of beer once we finished the first two, in like, ten minutes.

a call out to tequila. why must you always make the night end with the chait singing terrible songs terribly at karaoke while joe runs around collecting numbers like he’s in the census as baby girl is passed out in the salsa just before ace and kevin make out in the bathroom again?


for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy asks a few simple questions, and it's your job to provide the correct answers. as always, googling is prohibited. this week's winner will receive a date with beijing’s most eligible bachelor or bachelorette. if a dude wins and no bachelorette’s are available, jim will dress up like a chick for you. sorry.

this week, a musical multiple choice:

which of the following lyrics in the eloquent and thought-provoking hit “Ice Cream and Cake” by Buckwheat Boyz are not actual lyrics?

a) ice cream n cake

b) ice cream n cake n cake

c) do the ice cream n cake

d) all the kids like ice cream n cake

e) pause step up ice cream n cake

f) now who dat is with the ice cream and cake?

g) the party aint live without the ice cream and cake.

h) you cant have your cookies and ice cream and eat it too!

i) all that crap is in the song. wow.

as for the previous quiz, the correct answer was, still is, and forever will be, the lovely david hasselhoff. congratulations to cdice, the only person to know jeff’s secret man crush. you win some great prizes, courtesy of whatever tao has laying around in his room.

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: coming this summer, betsy is proud to present, a beijing ultimate offering, in conjunction with white face studios and big nose productions, the long anticipated and never underestimated, answer to all the beijing lady needs:

tai shuai lao wai. get it while it’s hot, which is guaranteed to be always.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.


and finally, your moment of zen…

catch you on the field,

April 14, Lauren:

So, does that mean Jehan gets a shout-out call-out?
But c'mon, give him a break--he had to spend all of January sleeping, eating, breathing next to me. And you all remember my little bout with TB--the treatment did have a 90% efficacy rate.

Also, I want to call-out Betsy's shout out to Jim. Bygone are the days when Betsy modeled perfect grammar for the entirety of Beijing ultimate. God knows they need all the help they can get.

And finally, why couldn't tai shuai lao wai happen when I'm in Beijing? Ya'll have been holding out on me and it isn't fair. I may have to wreak vengeance soon.


Same day, Betsy:

bonus call out.

a call out to google. google doesn't allow advanced text options like strikeouts in group sites. betsy is generally working on a whole different level of grammer awesomeness. jim's shout out should be:

a shout out to jim. jim (rigged?) won the recent ningbo hat using (mike
nads?) a cunning strategy of zone to (embarrass?) outperform his adversaries. jim’s achievements remind (himself?) us all that he is not only a (super great?) humble man, but also a (super great?) just plain great leader.


Again on that day, Lauren:

whoa. no wonder it didn't make any sense. and now i know why all my cool jokes using strikeouts were previously ignored, and why jim thought i was coming on to him all these years.

you have my deepest, sincerest apologies, betsy. bonus shout out to you, for unceasingly raising the bar for group sites across the globe.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Tianjin Open is this weekend, so in honor of that, we look back at last year's tournament, at which this happened:

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Jim leads a dance-line post-Ningbo... where have we seen Jim dance before?

Oh, right...

Newly re-designed China Ultimate website

If you haven't seen it already, here's the new China Ultimate website, accessible without a VPN or proxy (for now). The banner image is the same one as this site's, which was taken, of course, by Kevin Reitz from China Nationals 2008.

If you do have a VPN or proxy though, you may be interested in following China Ultimate on Twitter.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Happy Rat featured in CUPA

There is only one Happy Rat, and here's proof (you can tell CUPA just emailed Happy Rat and printed what Happy Rat emailed back, because a lot of grammar and punctuation are sic):

And we are not just playing we are team. We are terminator.


I taught them how to get girl . how to be smart how to get money etc that’s our practice


We don’t practice like bb or any other team we practice a lot .


99% people they are students and ethnic people.
Only one percent that s me an asshole


If big brother is the brother or leader of china
Then I am air woo s big brother .
Bie ke is my student we are on the same boat .
And by the way there is another team now days call them air loo from shan dong .
You will see them soon.


Air Tibet took me a lot . I will show them not by words .
But I can represent them and give china ultimate a gift (扎西德勒)
I swear that some day they will kick your ass no mercy

In all seriousness, I can't wait for that day.

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Margarita party and Big Brother meeting

Well, these weekend roundups are getting a bit repetitive. What happened over the weekend? Let's see... party... drinking... bat-shit crazy stuff.

Although this weekend wasn't that bad, despite the fact that some people were drinking tequila straight out of a bottle after drinking margaritas all night. The basic premise of a margarita party: different people make margaritas in different ways; drinkers vote for best; that's it. You double-fist when necessary, then chug the bad stuff and refill with the new. Sometimes "new" is simply "the one I like," but you still have duties to try margaritas from every station, so as a result... yea.

Like I said, not AS much bad stuff happened this weekend, though it could have. Or it did. Who knows anymore?

Also, Big Brother held its second meeting of the year after pickup/practice on Sunday. The purpose of the meet-up was to get everyone pumped up again for the season, especially Shanghai Open in the first weekend of June. Workouts and throwing on the side is a must. If this is to be the year of Big Brother, individuals must commit and follow through. Let's make it happen, guys and gals.

Friday, April 9, 2010

WEEK IN REVIEW: Ningbo look-back

A reminder that Ellen's margarita party at Ellen's friend's house is this Saturday. Really bat-drunk bad shit (bat-shit?) is going to happen.


Tao eating lots of food at the same time -- sausage, egg and waffles, dipped in yogurt, I believe -- at free breakfast at Howard Johnson. Picture by Michael Chaitkin.

Here's what Kevin had to say about the above:

We all universally enjoyed the buffet, but none more than Tao. Fifteen minutes before closing time, he arrives at this luxurious buffet, with more choices than Crayola has colors. He only has time to get one plate of food, and when he returns, it is a mound, piled higher than it is wide, layers upon layers of ridiculous combinations. He blindly stabs his fork into the heaping mess, shoveling down whatever bounty it comes up with. At some point, Jeff suggests it might be easier to eat if he adds some kind of lubrication to the mix. Tao's eyes flash on his yogurt, and a brilliant idea is formed. Soon, Tao is plunging food into mixed berry yogurt by the forkful: dumpling/potato wedge/sausage; ham/spring roll/waffle; bacon/croissant/wonton. It may have been horrifying to our Chinese waitstaff and fellow patrons, but it was pure amusement to us. If Tao bothered to chew between servings, he hid it well.


Beijingers in Ningbo


Really quiet on the board this week, but here's Tao pimpin' Candice Lee's kickball game:

Hey everyone,

Candice Lee's annual kickball league is happening again soon, on APRIL 24. Those interested need to register with her by APRIL 8. Email It'll be around 60-70 rmb for kickball and LOTS of beer. Lots.

I'm a captain this year and will be trying to draft as many Ultimate players as possible. Taking applications for co-captaincy as we speak.

It got no replies. Damn you Great Firewall!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

RETROSPECTIVE: Singapore 2009

The debut of China United Ultimate Party (picture by Ken Su)

Monday, April 5, 2010

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Ningbo Hat Tourney recap

Congratulations to Jim [update: dancing here], whose team went 5-0 during round-robin games, then beat Tao's team in semis, then Alec's team in finals. A brilliant run done with some brilliant captaining.

Fuller recap of tournament over at the newly re-launched China Ultimate blog.

Pictures of Beijingers (plus Nick Hatt, who may as well be a Beijinger) in action:

Not pictured but very much in our hearts and minds: Therese

Friday, April 2, 2010

WEEK IN REVIEW: Off to Ningbo

Apparently the weather's rainy and terrible in Ningbo. Oh well, Beijing will bring the sunlight.

Oh, and welcome back to Beijing, Jehan!


From Michael Chaitkin's Seder on Saturday (photos by Steph Kwan)

Betsy, 3/30:

plastic junkies,

this week’s sermon is about gluttony. specifically, betsy will be talking about eating in excess. for example, ellen provided unholy amounts of temptuous snacks for the attendees of big brother practice. among the offerings were baby girl’s twice baked sweet potatoes, sandy’s cabbage, and michelle’s carrot cake. everybody ate ravenously as they binged between points. it was pretty great. hooray for gluttony.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

This Wednesday, Pick Up, 7-9, BCIS
Every Sunday, Big Brother Practice, 12-2, ISB, followed by pickup from 2-4.

this week is the final Wednesday session at BCIS for the season. betsy would like to thank everyone for all the fantastic memories this year. however, given that its success was mostly due to the advertisement in the weekly schedule, she deserves most or all of the thanks. also thanks to alicia or something.


WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

April 3-4: Ningbo Hat
April 17-18: Tianjin Open
April 24-25: Singapore Women and Open
May 1-2: Jeju Gnarly Nines
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague


now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to tao. you’ve brought great honor and glory to beijing through your victory at the esteemed shenzhen hat tournament. your plentiful past and current failures will be overlooked for one week. enjoy.

a call out to joe. you don’t need a shoulder to run suicides.

a shout out to baby girl. baby girl hosted the cougarpalooza 2010 after party at his home this weekend. he did not invite any of his friends. beijing ultimate owes you a debt of gratitude for taking that down on your own. also: rowr.

a call out to sandy. sandy would be running big brother practice this week, if she wasn’t fleeing the country or frolicking on the sandy beaches of maui and staring longingly into gareth’s piercing blue eyes.

a shout out to matt. he’s going to have his tournament cherry broken in ningbo. everyone wish him luck and ensure he gets so drunk at the saturday party that he ends up grinding on the dance floor with jim’s light saber.

a call out to weather. make up your mind already. are you going to be sandy, snowy, rainy, or sunny? and none of this “oh, i’m just the weather, i occur due to temperature and moisture differences between one place and another and it’s really hard to predict me accurately” crap. betsy is sick of it. although, on an unrelated note…

a shout out to this past sunday’s weather. you were awesome. thanks!

a call out to shen. shen? hello?

a shout out to alicia. even from shanghai, she’s organizing more beijing-ultimate related festivities than twenty tao’s mashed together in a giant tao-mashing machine, harnessing the sum potential of their ambition and motivation, to create a megatao, one which still wouldn’t get up before noon on frisbeeless days.


WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll

Which of these is the worst idea yet for beijing’s star wars themed costumes at ningbo?

jim – intergalactic jedi pimps

kevin – tailored pink suits for everyone

ace – human light sabers

jeff – a flock of gangster jar jar binks

chicken – screw you guys, i bought the costumes for kunming.

tao – one gelatinous, felching, jabba the hut. (Bonus question: Who
would you rather do: Jabba the Hut right after a shower, or a service

alicia – princess leia’s, all chained to jabba the hut of course.


and finally, your moment of zen…

catch you on the field,

Thursday, April 1, 2010

1-kuai cocktails at Fubar

Rare are the times when members of the Beijing Ultimate community go out with the express intent of possibly passing out in an alley ... ahem ... but tonight's one of those nights. One-kuai cocktails are being served at Fubar from 7 to 9 p.m. No one is going to miss this. Hopefully there'll be no lines into this speakeasy-style bar.

I thought about starting a label called "shitfaced," but decided "party" will suffice.