Friday, April 16, 2010

WEEK IN REVIEW: Ready for Tianjin Open

As Big Brother and Beijing Bang (and Bang Bang, i.e. Bang B) prepare for Tianjin Open this weekend, you may be interested to know that no Beijing club team has won a high-level open tournament since, well, Singapore 2004. Bang came close to winning last year when it finished second at China Nationals. The autumn before that, at Hong Kong's Pan-Asian Tournament in 2008, Big Brother lost 15-11 in finals to Sunken Pleasure. Big Brother also lost in the finals of Dalian '09 and Tianjin '09, both times to Shanghai (Shanghai wins a lot).

That's your bit of Beijing Ultimate history for the day.


Wednesday pickup (that wasn't); we played Tao's game of "Frisbee baseball" (if you don't know, you were among the majority who didn't show up Wednesday.


Betsy and Lauren share the honors.

April 13, Betsy:

big brother,

tie up them laces, put on your sunscreen, and get pumped: it’s tournament time! remember those suicides mean ol’ gareth made us run? this weekend is when it pays off. get an extra day of throwing in this week, get to the gym and loosen up, come to pickup on wednesday. come out fired up and ready to dominate.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Wednesday, Pick Up, 8:30-10:30, Jianwai SOHO
Saturday and Sunday, Tianjin Open


WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

April 17-18: Tianjin Open
April 24-25: Singapore Women and Open
May 1-2: Jeju Gnarly Nines
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague

props to those who made some hat tournaments to get your pre-season touches in. this weekend is tianjin, the first opportunity for big brother’s 2010 roster to gel in a tournament. watch the google group site for details on transportation, lodging, and other logistics. get psyched everyone. big brother will be sending one team only and will be working on defining roles and trying different lines. talk to jim and gareth if you are unclear about their vision for you. hint: it likely involves horses, ice cream, n cake.

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a call out to jehan. it’s been a while since betsy has semi-permanently called someone out. congratulations jehan. you’ve been back in town for what, a month now? start doing awesome things immediately.

a shout out to jim. jim rigged won the recent ningbo hat using mike nads a cunning strategy of zone to embarrass outperform his adversaries. jim’s achievements remind himself us all that he is not only a super great humble man, but also a super great(?) just plain great leader.

a call out to gareth. because of your lollygagging, there was not a single suicide run at last week’s practice. your penance will be one suicide for every suicide not run. betsy will help you with the math if you are confused. it’s forty-two.

a shout out to puma. puma of ningbo fame was the only person to dress up for the star wars theme. he went in full S.W.A.T gear complete with facepaint. betsy hasn’t been this confused by a costume since baby girl dressed up in a pink tutu for barbie’s pink party.

a call out to hhh. if you keep showing up at parties and gatherings, betsy is going to have to start shouting you out more often. you’ve been warned.

a shout out to matt. matt wins the award for enduring the most crap while traveling to a tournament, and came out smelling like roses on the other side.

a call out to sandy. sandy missed two weeks of practice, the ningbo hat tournament, a ridiculous margarita party, and she didn’t even invite betsy to maui. suicides for you as well.

a shout out to ningbo. thanks for the awesome tournament and thanks for buying five more cases of beer once we finished the first two, in like, ten minutes.

a call out to tequila. why must you always make the night end with the chait singing terrible songs terribly at karaoke while joe runs around collecting numbers like he’s in the census as baby girl is passed out in the salsa just before ace and kevin make out in the bathroom again?


for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy asks a few simple questions, and it's your job to provide the correct answers. as always, googling is prohibited. this week's winner will receive a date with beijing’s most eligible bachelor or bachelorette. if a dude wins and no bachelorette’s are available, jim will dress up like a chick for you. sorry.

this week, a musical multiple choice:

which of the following lyrics in the eloquent and thought-provoking hit “Ice Cream and Cake” by Buckwheat Boyz are not actual lyrics?

a) ice cream n cake

b) ice cream n cake n cake

c) do the ice cream n cake

d) all the kids like ice cream n cake

e) pause step up ice cream n cake

f) now who dat is with the ice cream and cake?

g) the party aint live without the ice cream and cake.

h) you cant have your cookies and ice cream and eat it too!

i) all that crap is in the song. wow.

as for the previous quiz, the correct answer was, still is, and forever will be, the lovely david hasselhoff. congratulations to cdice, the only person to know jeff’s secret man crush. you win some great prizes, courtesy of whatever tao has laying around in his room.

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: coming this summer, betsy is proud to present, a beijing ultimate offering, in conjunction with white face studios and big nose productions, the long anticipated and never underestimated, answer to all the beijing lady needs:

tai shuai lao wai. get it while it’s hot, which is guaranteed to be always.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.


and finally, your moment of zen…

catch you on the field,

April 14, Lauren:

So, does that mean Jehan gets a shout-out call-out?
But c'mon, give him a break--he had to spend all of January sleeping, eating, breathing next to me. And you all remember my little bout with TB--the treatment did have a 90% efficacy rate.

Also, I want to call-out Betsy's shout out to Jim. Bygone are the days when Betsy modeled perfect grammar for the entirety of Beijing ultimate. God knows they need all the help they can get.

And finally, why couldn't tai shuai lao wai happen when I'm in Beijing? Ya'll have been holding out on me and it isn't fair. I may have to wreak vengeance soon.


Same day, Betsy:

bonus call out.

a call out to google. google doesn't allow advanced text options like strikeouts in group sites. betsy is generally working on a whole different level of grammer awesomeness. jim's shout out should be:

a shout out to jim. jim (rigged?) won the recent ningbo hat using (mike
nads?) a cunning strategy of zone to (embarrass?) outperform his adversaries. jim’s achievements remind (himself?) us all that he is not only a (super great?) humble man, but also a (super great?) just plain great leader.


Again on that day, Lauren:

whoa. no wonder it didn't make any sense. and now i know why all my cool jokes using strikeouts were previously ignored, and why jim thought i was coming on to him all these years.

you have my deepest, sincerest apologies, betsy. bonus shout out to you, for unceasingly raising the bar for group sites across the globe.


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