As we bask in the glory of our Dalian beach tournament win, we simultaneously set our sights to summer league, which is nearing its final week. This Sunday it'll be 1 vs 2 and 3 v 4, though point-diff makes it nearly impossible for any of the seedings to change for the big day on Saturday, August 7.
1. Pillage
2. Huck
3. Burn
4. Bid
hey frisbee XXXXnuts,
betsy reveled in a wonderful weekend of beach induced bacchanalia at the first ever dalian beach tournament. the oil didn't stop us, it actually accentuated our XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. led by your intrepid frisbee diva, a strong group of beijingers voyaged on the overnight train to represent, including jim, "toni", alicia, papa shyu, cai cai, sam, mark, chirona, jon lin, elmer, and invited guests richie and zhang wen from tianjin. doc was there as well. big brother once again proved victorious, both in the tournament, and later on at the party, where many scandalous events occurred, such as when chirona and sam XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, or when jim and doc XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in "toni's", tent.
yeah, free speech!!!
WEEKLY ITEM #1: Summer League Recap
with so many players away for dalian, or just XXXXXing around on vacation, it was an opportunity for major upsets to take place.
in highly anticipated rematch # one, red proved they didn't miss "toni", or any of his XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, and pulled out* a well fought victory over the ken dry captained grey. the fact that andy, organizing for the day as the only actual team captain to show up to summer league, gave red all of the stellar pickups for this day, this result will not be official pending a formal review from the shadow committee.
in highly anticipated rematch # two, betsy's very own pink juggernaut proved that nothing could stop them on their inexorable march towards the 2010 summer league championship, beating team yellow by a very competitive 13-9. of course, when gareth gets back next week, he might XXXX things up. if nothing else, this week's result proves that the pink captains can take absolutely no credit whatsoever for their team's dominance.
same time, same place next week, for the last week of round robin play before the finals.
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lunch time poll:
which of the following conversations was overheard between a member of big brother and the dalian mayor:
a) doc explaining under what circumstances it's okay for a man to say to a woman "i am XXXXXing you now"
b) "toni", asking the mayor for an exclusive interview, the mayor agreeing, and then changing his mind when he realizes that the interview will be for "toni's" blog. those XXXX bruises you'll notice on "toni", were inflicted by the mayor's bodyguards when they took "toni," into the back and XXXXXXXX him while the mayor and betsy watched.
c) mark explaining to the mayor how much more valuable his beach would be if they planted a poplar forest there instead*.
d) chirona trying to translate the bimbo song into chinese for him, then chatting about god for the next twenty minutes.
Weekly Item #2 XXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "toni", XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "toni's", mom XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX "toni", XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. good times!
dalian recap:
with only a week's notice, a group of devoted big brother players trained up to dalian to take part in their first ever beach tournament. worries about the tournament organization, based on the late announcement, were quickly allayed, as tour guide april met us bright and early saturday at the train station. she and jim quickly struck up a friendship, and it wasn't long before they were XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
day one of the tournament was overcast, foggy, and quite cool. discs thrown from one end of the field to the other could get lost in the fog. besides big brother, three dalian teams were entered in the tournament, split up into even squads. the first phase of the tournament was a round robin
format. it's hard for betsy to remember the exact scores, what with all the alcohol and XXXXXXXXXXX but i think big brother won all three of our games by large margins, something like 15-1, 15-2, and 15-1.
by the time our games were finished, it was mid afternoon, and some competitive disc games started up immediately, including a giant mack line, some layout triangles, and beer friz. doc was also spotted on the beach, but as usual, he was largely ignored. we then went to go get showers at the local bath house. betsy was indignant to learn that the male facilities, cost 18 rmb, had hot tubs, massage tables and naked chess. the female facilities, cost 12 rmb, had nothing but showers. no matter, as betsy snuck her way into the male bathroom, enjoyed the hot tub, and watched "toni", lose his XXXXXX at naked chess.
saturday night brought a misting rain, no bonfire, and XXXXXXXXXXX bai jiu. some highlights:
chirona and sam XXXXXXXXXX, then XXXXXXXXX, then some nice cuddling, and then some more XXXXXXXXXXX.
jon lin falling asleep in the sand, everyone else burying him, and then XXXXXXX the XXXXXXX out of him.
papa shyu revealing his post divorce plan to exclusively date 18-year-olds.
alicia using her robotic hand to crush "toni's", XXXXXXXXXXXX when he lost to her at chinese drinking games.
jim XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX with the dalian wanqing, then XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in his tent with zhang wen.
before going to bed, jim and doc holding an enlightening conversation on the topic of XXXXXXX outside of the tents. jim proposed that while XXXXXXXX a woman, it would be okay to say that he was XXXXXX her. doc concurred, saying that if the XXXXXXXX was already consensual, then it didn't matter if you said "XXXXXXXXX" to her. but it posed an interesting philosophical
quandary, and no resolution was settled upon before doc and jim XXXXXXXXXX in their tent.
on to sunday, where the early games saw big brother divide into 4 groups, and join up with the dalian teams to play with each other*. team a had richie, zhang wen and doc. team b included jim, jon lin and cai cai. team c had alicia, sam and mark. while team d included yours truly, "toni", elmer and papa shyu. each game was close, and had the final score of 9 to 7 after being tied at 7s.
then, before moving on to the final, big brother divided into o and d lines and scrimmaged against ourselves. the o team played very efficiently, avoided too many turnovers, and capitalized on some over throws and poor poaching by the d team to win going away, 7-2.
by now, the day was really heating up, with the sun coming out, and the blue skies revealing themselves. this meant the sand started to grow very very hot. dalian combined into one team with all of their best players, to mount a strong challenge for big brother.
because of the sand, we did not want to have to play a lot of points or struggle through a lot of turnovers. offensive efficiency became the number one goal, and big brother took an early lead in the final, getting up 4 to 1, with richie scoring three of the four goals. then we traded some points, and took half at 7-3.
after jim's impassioned half time speech under the tent, we walked back to see that 150 local dalianren had arrived by bus to cheer on the local team. despite the hostile crowd, big brother became even more determined. it may have simply been a matter of survival. no one wanted to play on the sand longer than was necessary. 7 straight points by the visitors brought big brother to the brink of the championship. one final goal from dalian made the final score 15-4. sweet sweet victory was ours. don't let the score fool you. the dalian all-stars were quite talented, with a lot of speed and height. they kept giving our defense trouble, but unfortunately lacked patience with the disc. expect big things from them in the future.
soon thereafter, the distinguished mayor of dalian arrived with an escort of local officials, police, elephants, virgins, and i think a few virgin elephants. he presented big brother with the crystal trophy, and shook hands with the victors. while everyone was distracted by the reporters, betsy took the mayor off into a secluded corner and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. can you believe it? in twenty years this guy is probably going to be the chairman of the communist party!!!!!
some other highlights:
i haven't given mark hiller a proper nickname yet, but for now we can just call him the plastic magnet. every time someone threw deep to his man, he was there to knock it down with two hands. he was always in such good position, it looked like he was the intended the receiver. well, except for the fact that he kept knocking the disc down with two hands instead of catching it.
jon lin, the baby koala, reminded betsy of shen with his sharp cutting on the field and fast motor. he was always moving, and played exceptional on both o and d. and anytime you saw him off the field, he was likely to be sleeping in the corner.
everyone's favorite moment came courtesy of alicia on sunday morning, when she went deep on "toni", and scored on sam's huck to the back of the endzone. a much better result than when she laid out in the back corner of the rocky endzone and tore up her knee.
jim, playing his typically tight defense scored a callahan goal in the final. except for the fact that it bounced off his hand and landed at his feet. oh well.
i really don't remember seeing much of doc, but i know he was around somewhere.
cai cai caught her first layout score, but she was so intent on the game, she didn't even remember doing so afterwards.
sam was all over the place, cutting, handling, cuddling with chirona, playing drinking games he didn't even know the words too, going to dinner with no shirt on. sam definitely wins betsy's annual fresh summer meat award.
did i mention that i XXXXXXXXed the mayor of dalian?
papa shyu will be glad to point out that he never got scored on in the final*, despite at least three hucks being directed towards his man. be sure to ask him about them.
"toni", played exceptional offense all weekend (with the exception of the big brother civil war) and was especially strong in the final, connecting on several deep passes to richie*.
and finally, big props to our guest players from tianjin, richie and zhang wen, who played awesome all weekend and were awarded the male and female mvps. hopefully this will be the first of many tournaments they play with big brother.
congratulations to big brother for such a great weekend, and thanks to everyone from dalian who made it possible. everyone had so much fun, we didn't even notice the oil spill that prevented us from actually, you know, swimming.
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now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.
a shout out to andy for running summer league while every other captain had fun without him in dalian. and not just the absence of tedium that usually accompanies not being around andy, but actual fun. sorry you missed out.
a call out to everyone who did not go to dalian. especially if your only excuse was a free trip to xian. i'd have rather hung out with andy this weekend than go to xian**
a shout out to the dalian mayor. you are really good at XXXXXXXXXX.
a call out to the boys of big brother, who totally failed to get with a single one of the nei pai tire girls. especially you sam! i hope cuddling with chirona was worth it.
a shout out to alicia, jim and cai cai and everyone else who organized our trip on such short notice.
a call out to the women of princeton ultimate. assessing points? calling picks and fouls? being in general quite mean? you are the worst people in the world. worse than hitler and glen beck. i hope you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
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WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: with betsy so busy in dalian, she wasn't able to pay close attention to what everyone else up was up to this week. so it has not been 100% confirmed, but it has been repeated to betsy by several different people that the following individuals got pregnant over the weekend:
sandy
therese
mama shyu
shan
chirona
peach
helen lu
angela
"toni",
barbie
hhh
leigh
steph
candice's mom
candice
nicki fung
kelly yang
congratulations to all the expecting mothers. big brother is going to field one heck of a team in 2026.
Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
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which brings us finally to your moment of zen, or what i like to call more incentive to get a vpn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtaCEfGfQkA&feature=related
catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo
*that's what she said
**that was a lie
