The return of Betsy

Because nothing that Betsy does escapes this blog:

July 2:

all who mourned the passing of betsy,

rejoice. she has not forgotten her multitude of adoring worshipers. she is always watching you. she was watching when you owned tianjin. she was watching the all big brother finals at china nationals. and yes, she was watching when you destroyed everything there was to destroy at shanghai. like all great masters, betsy too knows when to release her people, so they can spread their wings and grow, unencumbered.

but now. she’s back. and she's already seen ginny’s penis. she threw up a little.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Every Wednesday, Pick Up, 8-10, Zhi Chun Lu

Saturday July 2, Summer League Hat Tournament, Beijing Chaoyang Sports Fitness and Leisure Park, Clinic from 12-1pm, games from 1-5pm. 50RMB. Van leaves from DZM at 11am.

happy valley fields are no more. see tao’s e-mail for a complete explanation of what sam did to the fields last saturday night, rendering no other option for the city of beijing but demolition by fire. it was legendary.

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

Aug 25-30: Pyongyang Hat, North Korea

Sept 17-18: Singapore Ultimate Open

Oct 22-23: Hong Kong

Nov 25-27: Manila Spirits

pyongyang hat, also known as “the tao, alicia, and kevin elope hat”, will be your best chance to do something worthwhile with your life. think about it.

_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to ginny. not since joe and jeff’s drunken “adventures” has a penis been exposed for so long in full view of fellow big brother players. not even jim or tao qualify, as nina and alicia can confirm.

a call out to sam. some dating tips from betsy: start hitting on girls your own age, don’t bother them while they are working, and if they are brandishing a weapon, it’s best to move on. she just wasn’t that into you.

a shout out to chad. keep this up and maybe big brother will let canada host the 4^th of july sometime.

a call out to christian. betsy still can't believe you didn't catch that. you will remain called out until you invent a time machine, go back, and teach yourself to catch your d's.

a shout out to tao. as the second best writer in the group, betsy would like to commend you on your short story, in which you portray our best writer, besty, doing awesome stuff with fire.

a call out to peach. if anyone is going to send sexy, sexy e-mails to junior high kids, it is going to be mike shyu. you’ve been warned. keep it clean, or keep it on the da ge fei pan list.

a shout out to loveseat. loveseat’s inaugural performance proved, once and for all, that everything is better without jeff. except betsy’s bed. after lincoln got crabs, she’s been lonely.

a call out to crabs. besty’s not done with you. she has a flamethrower and knows how to use it.

a shout out to big brother. great job at shangahi. betsy is honored to be called the most important thing that has and will ever happen to beijing, as well as an inspiration to all and the pinnacle of excellence. she knows you couldn’t have done it without her, and humbly acceptance responsibility for everything good in the world.

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: Betsy's Corner

since betsy doesn't have enough of a platform to share her views and opinions on how awesome she is, betsy’s corner is a place for her to give everyone another piece of her mind. this week, betsy unlocks the truths and secrets of big brother through the infallible tool of anagramination. next week: possibly more!

William Perry – Warm Ripe Lily

has ginny every told you the story of how he lost his virginity in a flower shop? spoiler, it wasn’t with a girl.

Michael Doc Tobin – Condom Beat Chili

has michael tobin ever tell you about the time he tried to invent a new version of rock/paper/scissors? condom beat chili, chili beat ass, and ass beat condom. he knows this all from experience.

Barbara O’Connell – Barnacle Bra Loon

has Barbara ever told you about the time she worked as a waitress in a pirate-themed seafood joint, and a bird flew by and snatched her bra? betsy thinks you probably just had to be there.

Peach Eileen Regan – Enrage Penile Ache

had any of you prude little sissies actually attended peaches naked party, you would already know this story. betsy was there, of course, and let’s just say the aching will continue for quite some time.

Chad Hensler – Hardens Lech

has chad ever told you about the time he worked briefly as on a porn set, as a fluffer for a norwegian dude named lech?

Ingrid Akerlind – Drained Girl Ink

has Ingrid ever told you about the time she drained girl ink? it pays surprisingly well.

Alex Ornik - Relax Oink

alex fucks pigs sometimes.

_________

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE:

a group of merrymakers descended on great leap friday night, where drunk joe made a rare appearance. goaded by ginny, db, dray, and tory, joe was sent into a tailspin of narcoleptic, mindmelting bizarrity when gareth handed him a traffic cone. betsy knows never to give drunk joe any props, let alone a traffic cone. nunchucks? sure. fire extinguisher? why not. but gareth apparently did not get the memo. what transpired could push linguistics to the very meniscus of explanation, but suffice it to say this traffic cone witnessed and felt things no cone should ever have to. by the end of the night, it was reduced to a traffic quivering-at-the-nightmarish-insanity-perpetrated-on-itself cone.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

_________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://i.imgur.com/ZAnMK.gif

yes tao, besty was watching that too.

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

Tao's reply, 7/3:

Betsy! You ... changed your font, you scrofulous fuckslut.

WEEK IN REVIEW: Last pickup of the year

After this Saturday, pickup is OFF until after the holidays. We will resume back up at BCIS on Wednesday, January 12, at 7 pm per usual.

We were graced by the presence of Aaron Leung for a few days this week. We'll write about it in the upcoming Weekend Roundup [update: here].

On Thursday, Ken Dry invited us to his apartment to drink his liquor (and help him clean some things). It was a good time.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK:
See yesterday's post.

And this (explained below):


GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK, pt 1:

Candice Lee and her bowling league (titled "BOWLING 2011 (almost)"), 12/15:

Hello Bowallers,

I hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for the new year/new bowling season!

In January we will commencing next bowling league, so get out your shoes, your balls, and game face.

This coming *Monday, Dec Thursday, Dec 20* will be a *WARM UP BOWL at Gongti 100 at 9pm. *

It's going to be a real casual bowling session, but it's just a good opportunity to massage our egos and shine our balls. I know this is a bit last minute, but come on out if you have time! We can just rent lane by lane and sip on some cocktails（tiger beer?). btw, byo.

Also,* if you're interested in signing up for bowling league next year, send me an email before January 10 so that I can set up the brackets*. I'm thinking Thursday nights at 9pm, similar to last year. The *start date will be January 13.* This year I will really send out the final scores and be more organized. It will probably be about 45 rmb per person per league game.

Each team can have from 4-5 players (4 main players, 1 alternate). Try to have teams co-ed, but I understand otherwise. * Send me team names!*

Please forward this out to anyone who would be interested in joining! I can put them on the mailing list (I'm sure I've forgotten bunches of people). Otherwise, if you want off, just let me know and you will no longer receive fun emails from me. ( for bowling at least, not guaranteed for kickball)

There will also be an* impromtu pre-pre bowl tomorrow night, Thurs Dec 16, at 9pm.
*
Let's get em rolling,

Candice
[number redacted]

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK, pt 2:

Betsy! 12/15:

frisbee adobo,

betsy is back after basking in the philippines and getting her fill of beaches, sunshine, and chiseled, tropical, testosterone-filled men (read: lincoln) before returning to freezing beijing to hibernate for the winter. she knows you (read: tao) were going through betsy withdrawal, but betsy wouldn't abandon you (read: baby girl) and
deprive you (read: still baby girl) of her scintillating seasonal sauciness. because she loves you (read: oh crap, maybe was that andy?). yes she does.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: Schedule

Pickup Wednesdays 7-9pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at BCIS

no practice until gareth deems it warm enough to cut off that awful facial hair.

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

Vietnam Hat tournament, December 18-19th, 2010
Bangkok Hat tournament, February 12-13 or 19-20, 2011
Phnom Penh Big Phat Hat tournament, March 5-6, 2011
Boracay Beach tournament, March 20-21
PAGANELLO! Beach tournament, April 21-25, 2011

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll

1. matching: who asked for what for christmas?

A. gareth 1. an iphone
B. sandy 2. an iphone
C. ken dry 3. a new boyfriend, or at least his abs back
D. kevin 4. a new boyfriend, and possibly new shorts
E. leigh 5. a green man
F. chaitkin 6. a new roommate
H. Ingrid 7. a few more inches on his "vertical"
G. doc 8. what's christmas?

2. which of the following couples are so hot right now?

a. chaik-fil-a
b. destijimmer
c. drewleigh mobloomfat-young
d. muelin mattgrid
e. garcraft
_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you do not want to get called out.

--special manila edition--

a shout out to zahlen. sure, you are fatter and slower, getting older, and not as sharp-witted as you once were. but something something thanks for playing with big brother in manila. it was pretty great.

a call out to ellen. next time baby girl invents a game that directly involves embarrassing and upsetting you, try harder not to be embarrassed and upset. it ruins all the fun.

a shout out to rob. betsy doesn’t care what everyone else says about you, she still thinks you are fun.

a call out to subic. possibly more parking attendants would improve the experience. beijing did not feel like all their parking needs were being met. just a suggestion.

a shout out to chaitkin. yay chaitkin.

a call out to kevin. more botched jeepny rentals, please. what does a girl have to do to get completely lost and ripped off in the philippines nowadays? go home with a green man, perhaps?

a shout out to nina. nina played an entire tournament without injuring anyone. jim’s feelings do not count.

a call out to green man. betsy knows what happened on the golf course, and she’s never going to be able to think of “hole 10” on the “back nine” the same way again.

a shout out to femtight. gareth can tell you why.

a call out to penifresh. betsy is allergic to tutti-fruiti and now she has a rash. on her feet. joe can tell you why.

a shout out to hhh, nicki, baby girl, gareth, and jim. seriously, you all deserved the awards given to you. no joking. for reals yo. also tao and zach for the greatest. seriously everyone.

________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GS6gKxG_jo

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

And Tao, a mere 25 minutes later:

Oh, great, Betsy is back whoring up the town. Are you using protection this time at least, you skank?

But Alex Ornik is REALLY excited. No, seriously.

Announcing: Bangkok Hat Tourney, February 12-13, 2011

Facebook page here. Beijing has been known to have fun at Bangkok Hat -- ask either Betsy or Doc.

The following note is from Tri of Bangkok:

Greetings ultimate folks! I'm happy to pass along the word that the Dawgz finally set the date for the 11th Bangkok Hat. It will take place on February 12/13, 2011. (It is a little later than last year because we want people to avoid the hassles of traveling during Lunar New Year time. Sorry, can't please everyone.)

Important FYI- It will be at the same fields/facility. If you didn't see the guns in the past, allow me to remind you that it's an Army base. Therefore, it maybe NOT be available when political problems (ala Red Shirts) arise. So, we hope it wouldn't be a surprise or a problem for you when the tournament hits a major wall. (We tried to look for back up fields but nothing is nearby that can hold 6 games simultaneously.) Let's hope for the best.

Registration site is not ready yet. Look for it in a few weeks (late October). Check our website later on: www.bangkokultimate.com And you can email the committee if you have any specific questions (or suggestions) bk.hat.tourney@gmail.com

Meanwhile, check your work calendar and for flights. Hope to see you in February.

Cheers!

Tri and co.

WEEK IN REVIEW: Back from Dalian, summer league nearing an end...

As we bask in the glory of our Dalian beach tournament win, we simultaneously set our sights to summer league, which is nearing its final week. This Sunday it'll be 1 vs 2 and 3 v 4, though point-diff makes it nearly impossible for any of the seedings to change for the big day on Saturday, August 7.

Your standings:

1. Pillage
2. Huck
3. Burn
4. Bid

PICTURES OF THE WEEK:


Sunday Dalian (yes, that's KTV late Sunday night). Pictures by Chirona.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK 2:

Also from Chirona, this happened Saturday night, and no, this was not planned at all. Notice Doc in the background.


GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Betsy with her Dalian recap -- her longest post in years -- 7/26:

hey frisbee XXXXnuts,

betsy reveled in a wonderful weekend of beach induced bacchanalia at the first ever dalian beach tournament. the oil didn't stop us, it actually accentuated our XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. led by your intrepid frisbee diva, a strong group of beijingers voyaged on the overnight train to represent, including jim, "toni", alicia, papa shyu, cai cai, sam, mark, chirona, jon lin, elmer, and invited guests richie and zhang wen from tianjin. doc was there as well. big brother once again proved victorious, both in the tournament, and later on at the party, where many scandalous events occurred, such as when chirona and sam XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, or when jim and doc XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in "toni's", tent.

yeah, free speech!!!

WEEKLY ITEM #1: Summer League Recap

with so many players away for dalian, or just XXXXXing around on vacation, it was an opportunity for major upsets to take place.

in highly anticipated rematch # one, red proved they didn't miss "toni", or any of his XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, and pulled out* a well fought victory over the ken dry captained grey. the fact that andy, organizing for the day as the only actual team captain to show up to summer league, gave red all of the stellar pickups for this day, this result will not be official pending a formal review from the shadow committee.

in highly anticipated rematch # two, betsy's very own pink juggernaut proved that nothing could stop them on their inexorable march towards the 2010 summer league championship, beating team yellow by a very competitive 13-9. of course, when gareth gets back next week, he might XXXX things up. if nothing else, this week's result proves that the pink captains can take absolutely no credit whatsoever for their team's dominance.

same time, same place next week, for the last week of round robin play before the finals.
____________

lunch time poll:

which of the following conversations was overheard between a member of big brother and the dalian mayor:

a) doc explaining under what circumstances it's okay for a man to say to a woman "i am XXXXXing you now"

b) "toni", asking the mayor for an exclusive interview, the mayor agreeing, and then changing his mind when he realizes that the interview will be for "toni's" blog. those XXXX bruises you'll notice on "toni", were inflicted by the mayor's bodyguards when they took "toni," into the back and XXXXXXXX him while the mayor and betsy watched.

c) mark explaining to the mayor how much more valuable his beach would be if they planted a poplar forest there instead*.

d) chirona trying to translate the bimbo song into chinese for him, then chatting about god for the next twenty minutes.

Weekly Item #2 XXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "toni", XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "toni's", mom XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX "toni", XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. good times!

dalian recap:

with only a week's notice, a group of devoted big brother players trained up to dalian to take part in their first ever beach tournament. worries about the tournament organization, based on the late announcement, were quickly allayed, as tour guide april met us bright and early saturday at the train station. she and jim quickly struck up a friendship, and it wasn't long before they were XXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

day one of the tournament was overcast, foggy, and quite cool. discs thrown from one end of the field to the other could get lost in the fog. besides big brother, three dalian teams were entered in the tournament, split up into even squads. the first phase of the tournament was a round robin
format. it's hard for betsy to remember the exact scores, what with all the alcohol and XXXXXXXXXXX but i think big brother won all three of our games by large margins, something like 15-1, 15-2, and 15-1.

by the time our games were finished, it was mid afternoon, and some competitive disc games started up immediately, including a giant mack line, some layout triangles, and beer friz. doc was also spotted on the beach, but as usual, he was largely ignored. we then went to go get showers at the local bath house. betsy was indignant to learn that the male facilities, cost 18 rmb, had hot tubs, massage tables and naked chess. the female facilities, cost 12 rmb, had nothing but showers. no matter, as betsy snuck her way into the male bathroom, enjoyed the hot tub, and watched "toni", lose his XXXXXX at naked chess.

saturday night brought a misting rain, no bonfire, and XXXXXXXXXXX bai jiu. some highlights:

chirona and sam XXXXXXXXXX, then XXXXXXXXX, then some nice cuddling, and then some more XXXXXXXXXXX.

jon lin falling asleep in the sand, everyone else burying him, and then XXXXXXX the XXXXXXX out of him.

papa shyu revealing his post divorce plan to exclusively date 18-year-olds.

alicia using her robotic hand to crush "toni's", XXXXXXXXXXXX when he lost to her at chinese drinking games.

jim XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX with the dalian wanqing, then XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in his tent with zhang wen.

before going to bed, jim and doc holding an enlightening conversation on the topic of XXXXXXX outside of the tents. jim proposed that while XXXXXXXX a woman, it would be okay to say that he was XXXXXX her. doc concurred, saying that if the XXXXXXXX was already consensual, then it didn't matter if you said "XXXXXXXXX" to her. but it posed an interesting philosophical
quandary, and no resolution was settled upon before doc and jim XXXXXXXXXX in their tent.

on to sunday, where the early games saw big brother divide into 4 groups, and join up with the dalian teams to play with each other*. team a had richie, zhang wen and doc. team b included jim, jon lin and cai cai. team c had alicia, sam and mark. while team d included yours truly, "toni", elmer and papa shyu. each game was close, and had the final score of 9 to 7 after being tied at 7s.

then, before moving on to the final, big brother divided into o and d lines and scrimmaged against ourselves. the o team played very efficiently, avoided too many turnovers, and capitalized on some over throws and poor poaching by the d team to win going away, 7-2.

by now, the day was really heating up, with the sun coming out, and the blue skies revealing themselves. this meant the sand started to grow very very hot. dalian combined into one team with all of their best players, to mount a strong challenge for big brother.

because of the sand, we did not want to have to play a lot of points or struggle through a lot of turnovers. offensive efficiency became the number one goal, and big brother took an early lead in the final, getting up 4 to 1, with richie scoring three of the four goals. then we traded some points, and took half at 7-3.

after jim's impassioned half time speech under the tent, we walked back to see that 150 local dalianren had arrived by bus to cheer on the local team. despite the hostile crowd, big brother became even more determined. it may have simply been a matter of survival. no one wanted to play on the sand longer than was necessary. 7 straight points by the visitors brought big brother to the brink of the championship. one final goal from dalian made the final score 15-4. sweet sweet victory was ours. don't let the score fool you. the dalian all-stars were quite talented, with a lot of speed and height. they kept giving our defense trouble, but unfortunately lacked patience with the disc. expect big things from them in the future.

soon thereafter, the distinguished mayor of dalian arrived with an escort of local officials, police, elephants, virgins, and i think a few virgin elephants. he presented big brother with the crystal trophy, and shook hands with the victors. while everyone was distracted by the reporters, betsy took the mayor off into a secluded corner and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. can you believe it? in twenty years this guy is probably going to be the chairman of the communist party!!!!!

some other highlights:

i haven't given mark hiller a proper nickname yet, but for now we can just call him the plastic magnet. every time someone threw deep to his man, he was there to knock it down with two hands. he was always in such good position, it looked like he was the intended the receiver. well, except for the fact that he kept knocking the disc down with two hands instead of catching it.

jon lin, the baby koala, reminded betsy of shen with his sharp cutting on the field and fast motor. he was always moving, and played exceptional on both o and d. and anytime you saw him off the field, he was likely to be sleeping in the corner.

everyone's favorite moment came courtesy of alicia on sunday morning, when she went deep on "toni", and scored on sam's huck to the back of the endzone. a much better result than when she laid out in the back corner of the rocky endzone and tore up her knee.

jim, playing his typically tight defense scored a callahan goal in the final. except for the fact that it bounced off his hand and landed at his feet. oh well.

i really don't remember seeing much of doc, but i know he was around somewhere.

cai cai caught her first layout score, but she was so intent on the game, she didn't even remember doing so afterwards.

sam was all over the place, cutting, handling, cuddling with chirona, playing drinking games he didn't even know the words too, going to dinner with no shirt on. sam definitely wins betsy's annual fresh summer meat award.

did i mention that i XXXXXXXXed the mayor of dalian?

papa shyu will be glad to point out that he never got scored on in the final*, despite at least three hucks being directed towards his man. be sure to ask him about them.

"toni", played exceptional offense all weekend (with the exception of the big brother civil war) and was especially strong in the final, connecting on several deep passes to richie*.

and finally, big props to our guest players from tianjin, richie and zhang wen, who played awesome all weekend and were awarded the male and female mvps. hopefully this will be the first of many tournaments they play with big brother.

congratulations to big brother for such a great weekend, and thanks to everyone from dalian who made it possible. everyone had so much fun, we didn't even notice the oil spill that prevented us from actually, you know, swimming.

___________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to andy for running summer league while every other captain had fun without him in dalian. and not just the absence of tedium that usually accompanies not being around andy, but actual fun. sorry you missed out.

a call out to everyone who did not go to dalian. especially if your only excuse was a free trip to xian. i'd have rather hung out with andy this weekend than go to xian**

a shout out to the dalian mayor. you are really good at XXXXXXXXXX.

a call out to the boys of big brother, who totally failed to get with a single one of the nei pai tire girls. especially you sam! i hope cuddling with chirona was worth it.

a shout out to alicia, jim and cai cai and everyone else who organized our trip on such short notice.

a call out to the women of princeton ultimate. assessing points? calling picks and fouls? being in general quite mean? you are the worst people in the world. worse than hitler and glen beck. i hope you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

_________

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: with betsy so busy in dalian, she wasn't able to pay close attention to what everyone else up was up to this week. so it has not been 100% confirmed, but it has been repeated to betsy by several different people that the following individuals got pregnant over the weekend:

sandy
therese
mama shyu
shan
chirona
peach
helen lu
angela
"toni",
barbie
hhh
leigh
steph
candice's mom
candice
nicki fung
kelly yang

congratulations to all the expecting mothers. big brother is going to field one heck of a team in 2026.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

________

which brings us finally to your moment of zen, or what i like to call more incentive to get a vpn:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtaCEfGfQkA&feature=related

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

*that's what she said

**that was a lie

WEEK IN REVIEW: Hat tourney preview

Beijing can hold hat tournaments as well. This Monday, celebrate Duanwujie (Dragon Boat Festival) with this:

HAT TOURNEY DETAILS:

WHEN: Monday, June 14, 12:30 pm; van leaves DZM at noon (15 rmb/trip)
WHAT you need: white shirt, dark shirt, water, running shoes (cleats
are preferable, as we'll be on grass)
COST: 40 rmb. Local Chinese students and absolute first-timers to
Ultimate: 25 rmb
WHERE: Happy Valley fields, 十八里店村文化体育活动中心 (Shibali Diancun Wenhua
Tiyuhuodong Zhongxin)

PICTURE OF THE WEEK:


GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Betsy, 6/9:

honorary shanghai open party champions,

readers of this weekly e-mail are hereby entitled to deliver one (1) kick to the groin of one (1) shanghai tournament director of your choosing. prize is non-transferable. groin must be present at time of kick. reader must shout “that’s for the party award, you tool!” while delivering kick. reader should then go celebrate with two (4) beers and larping.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Wednesday, June 9, post-tournament dinner at DZM BCD place, 7:30.

Monday, June 14, Hat Tournament at Happy Valley, 1-6pm.
Stay tuned for details.

there will be no further practice or pick-up until BUC or gareth declare it. here are some suggestions for what to do with your free time until ultimate once again rules your world:

plant a tree
take a walk
do some yoga
get blackout drunk
get surgery on a broken hand
study chinese
study toni’s mom
study the supple touch
travel to an unfamiliar place
win a drinking contest
discuss current affairs
discuss those having affairs
discuss censorship
go shopping for tighter underwear
fly a kite
do wind sprints
work on the weekend
work on your second baby
work your ho stroll
watch a movie
listen to some live music
enjoy a bcd
go to a hat tournament
play frisbee anyway

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague
September 18-19: Singapore Open (tentative)

get to chengdu. it may be your last chance to play ultimate at the 2010 chengdu hat tournament ever.

_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to larpers. big brother proved once and for all they are the coolest kids on the block and don’t need to wear diapers to make people love them. although they would if they thought it would make them cooler. which it doesn’t. it just makes you look stupid. stupid diapers.

a call out to alec. betsy hasn’t been this outraged since gollum betrayed frodo by leading him to the great spider shelob in the tunnels of cirith ungol on their way to mordor. big brother, like
frodo, will ultimately emerge unscathed and fulfill their destiny as the undisputed asian party champions.

a shout out to doc. betsy commends you on yet again inventing a needlessly complicated party theme all but assuring the party victory, complete with playing cards.

a shout out to everyone that used the playing cards. betsy saw kevin riding on stew’s back, jake acting as doc’s wingman, and alicia using chain lightning on lincoln.

a call out to chatikin. you need to start wearing two pairs of underwear and stop breaking hats.

a shout out to barbie. hey barbie. hi! how’s your hand after the gigantic blood vessel erupted from practicing layouts? call betsyyyyyyy!!!!!!!1!!

a call out to shanghai. who hosts a tournament and doesn’t give out a spirit award? you deserve a swift kick in the groin. betsy knows an army of angry frisbee players with a license to deliver one (1).

a shout out to taolicia. playing with broken bones and sickly stomachs, getting sick layout d’s, callahans, and greatests, they provided a source of inspiration to all. betsy gets a little wet when she thinks about it.

a call out to sandy. where was the free flowing bai jiu at the party? betsy hasn’t been this disappointed in an apothecary since the time one sold poison to romeo which he used to commit suicide. no, betsy is not cultured. yes, she googled it.

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll

which of the following new couples is most likely to last beyond this weekend?

a) chelfad

b) triple d

c) mini claire

d) jelan

e) chuliet

_________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://chengduultimate.blog.com/

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

WEEK IN REVIEW: Censorship and Shanghai

The most important tournament of the year looms. This is Shanghai:

PICTURES OF THE WEEK:






...and this is what we've been chatting about this week:

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:
So many to choose from! So instead of choosing, I'm just going to repost all replies to the discussion titled "censorship is wrong, in my opinion":

Doc, June 1, 11:17 am:

for those of you who don't know, joe, perhaps with the backing of a small group of people (i'm not clear on the details), has taken to censoring the google group. he started doing this a couple years ago, and it has really escalated over the last few weeks.

i am firmly against censorship, especially arbitrary censorship. as far as i know, the only definitive clear cut rule for the group is no cursing. even that is open to interpretation, because different people have different standards for what constitutes cursing. some people would could
consider damn a swear word. others might say even bafflegab is a swear word, because of what it stands in for. so what it comes down to, is that joe is arbitrarily deciding what is okay for the group and what is not okay.

censorship.

the google group was originally created specifically because before we had only a yahoo group, and one person controlled what was allowed to be posted to it, and no one had a free voice. very literally, the google group was an end around to avoid such censorship. so i am understandably saddened that we have returned to censorship yet again.

personally, i think anyone should be allowed to post anything they want, as long as it doesn't violate chinese law (ie no pornography and nothing that speaks out against the government). if someone posts something that a majority of others think is in poor taste, the group will react to it, and in most cases the person in question will probably adjust their future postings. but if they don't, that says a lot more about the individual than it does about the group. but if we allow arbitrary censorship, that's saying a lot about what kind of community this is.

if there is going to be censorship, it should not be controlled by one person or a small group of people. first, it should be voted on by the group that we want censorship. and then the specific guidelines need to be voted on. and then, the person that will be in charge of upholding those guidelines should be voted on. even then, i would be firmly against it. but at least then you have a somewhat less arbitrary form of censorship.

for those who don't know what is at issue, the last straw, as they say, came this last week when someone writing as betsy (not me) referred to a joke that was told on the bus about 'coons. i was not on the bus. i don't know what the joke was, and whether it was meant to be racist. maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. but when the person wrote about it in the email, he/she had no idea there were any racial undertones. it was just a reference to an animal, in this person's mind. it only became a racist comment when other people interpreted it that way. should it be something that results in banning? should it be taken off of the group? i guess different people would have different opinions. i think people should post freely, no censorship. freedom. but again, if it is something that should be banned, it should be because it violates clearly defined guidelines that the group has agreed to as a whole.

anyway, i think it's a sad day when censorship wins out over freedom of expression, no matter what the venue.

dr

Maggie Rauch, June 1, 11:27 am:

All I know is I'm heading to trivia night tonight, and I hope that whoever didn't know that coon was a racial slur is there and not on my team.

Chris Boehner:

Hmmmm, I thought it was in reference to Maine Coons, coincidentally my favorite type of cat.

Gareth:

"if someone posts something that a majority of others think is in poor taste, the group will react to it"

How will they react to it? By writing long e-mails taking a stance? Or people will stop coming to our practices and pick-up. Or perhaps they will leave the google group, which in addition to extraneous information contains times and locations of practices, pick-up, and tournaments. I would be totally down for a trash talking, whatever you want group and one that posts information. I don't want people to get scared off by e-mails coming from you, perhaps with the backing of a small group of people (I'm not clear on the details), that writes crazy, funny, obnoxious e-mails that may not represent the community and have really have escalated over the past few weeks. I definitely love Betsy and am not for censorship, I think we just may have to separate things into an informational group and another one. I'm sure there is a way to do this.

Joe:

Hi all,

There are a few things that should be clarified. This is both regarding content of this google group and the recent censorship issues that Doc is bringing up.

First, I have never acted individually in the decisions to remove content from the group. I have always discussed and conferred with leaders of both the Beijing ultimate community and BUC. This has included Jeff, Gareth, Kevin, and even Doc.

Furthermore, these decisions have NEVER been arbitrarily decided. There has never been content we removed because we didn't like the poster, or because we thought it would be fun to delete a post. We have removed content that we feel others would have found or interpreted as offensive, hateful, and not in the spirit of our community or in line with our goal of making this an open and accepting community.

I also take issue with Doc's point that posts reflect individuals, and that people will judge the individuals and in turn later posts will reflect this. These recent incidents have all involved Betsy, a pseudonym who is often seen as this community's ambassador on this forum. How can posts speak to who the individual is, if there is a veil over who is in fact posting? I'm not arguing that having this character on this group is a bad thing, but if this person is truly supposed to reflect on us as a group, shouldn't we hold it to a higher standard? There are many times that I have found Betsy full of humor, and without hatred. There has, as of late, been an influx of mean, offensive and downright hateful content.

Regardless of who is posting, I encourage people to use self-control when they leave their digital fingerprint on this forum. It reflects on all of us, as a community. This community serves not only those who are already in this group, but those who we are hoping to encourage to join this group.

Gareth makes a good point that has been talked about before. If people feel the need for a "gossip blog," by all means start one up.

iRobb (not really sure who this is):

Just random trivia. Although a "Coon" is indeed a racial slur in most circles, it is also the self-proclaimed term for Roughnecks from the bayou regions of Louisiana who descend from Arcadian ancestry, commonly known today as "Cajuns". This group of Caucasian oil derek workers make up some of those who lost their lives in the oil darek fire, and now oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that is currently headline news.

This term represents a specific group of well-educated industry specialists in the oil industry and when used in oil circles, it has a direct denotation with impervious, neutral conotation. Except of course when it's mistaken within these circles for a racial slur. I believe the full title is "Coon-ass" and I'm pretty sure it stems from a French word that ties nicely into English with obvious merit for it's association with racoons which are abundant in the bayous of Louisiana.

Outside of Exxonmobile though, I think the term is dead except for parts of the Georgia and South Carolina or by people who may not fully understand the implications of how a term like this can effect certain groups who are directly or indirectly associated with the relevant historic and cultural issues. These people tend to stay out of international frisbee leagues as it is the very xenophobia of racism that keeps them too close to home sometimes.

Many of the indiginous groups who use the other version of this term and synonyms of it also practice crude forms of inter-marrying and count barn dancing, cow- tipping and playing cornpone amung the more entertaining activities around their boondocks or local habitations. I guess my point is this, was someone intentionally trying to be offensive or did Bubba get carried away with the dail up again trying to meet new people cause his sister patched things up with her dad? (For more information on the dangerous effects of incest, check out The Redbucks this Saturday night at yu gong yi Shan)

I agree with Gareth, and I agree with Doc. I am for free speech, and because of that I can choose to ignore when people like Bubba get carried away regurgitating ignorant beleifs that have been absorbed through failures in history to retain and allow the flow of free spech. It is the nature of the insult that insists upon free speech. Some argue that racism is an environmental factor, not a genetic one. Bubba has enough of a hard time with genetics, seeing as his sister and his mother are the same person. His draw towards racism is a factor of regurgitated brainwashing steeped in family tradition... not fully contumplated or even fully understood. This type of brainwashed
ignorance is one of the many reasons its good to have freedom of speech as the only way to break free from this kind of brainwashing is to get more information. It may also be the only way Bubba breaks free from "The best of Jerry Springer" lifestyle he has been born into. The only way to get better information is through media outlets that are free from censorship even if that means we have spend time reading self-absorbed spoutings from a pseudo-intellectual who shamelessly promotes his freinds' concerts (Saturday night, call Luke, Chip, Chris or any one of the five hundred other band members of The Redbucks for more information.)

If you read this all the way through, that is two minutes (five for Bubba) that you will never get back. This may the very argument for censorship afterall...

Robb

Don't bother replying, I will be practicing my right to ignore you.

Russell:

I agree 100% with Gareth. At one point I quit the list because reading it was objectionable, but ended up signing back up to keep up to date. But as someone who has worked to get colleges and high schools involved, there is *no way* I would share the beijing-ultimate email address with a student. If a high school teacher should see almost any one of Betsy's posts, what are the chances the school would support it? It therefore cannot fulfill its purpose as a communications tool.

Ultimate as a sport and a community has a tradition of welcoming and respecting all people, not just those who think "anything goes". Posts by Betsy reflect on the whole team. If we want respect and recognition for the ultimate community we should have some for others. I don't think all personalities should be removed from the list - it can reflect team character to some extent - but the more "avant-garde" stuff really belongs on a separate list where those interested can post freely to their heart's content - or any other part of their anatomies, for that matter.

Tao, June 2, 4 pm:

An aforementioned "gossip blog" exists, and thank you Joe for putting the comma where it belongs: http://beijingultimate.blogspot.com -- which, though it contains many of Betsy's emails + masturbatory-worthy photos, is censored within China. **Withholding desire to say more**

WEEK IN REVIEW: Our Shanghai costume idea

The greatest ever, as always. I'll let Betsy take it away:

it is time.

here is this year's party theme for shanghai, as decided upon by me: LARP

as all of you closeted (or not so closeted, toni tao) nerds out there already know, LARP stands for live action role play. basically, it's a cross between dungeons and dragons and civil war reenactment. our adventuring party will be LOTCR. if you don't know what this stands for, ask joe. he won't let me spell it out for you on the group.

betsy, in her benevolent goodness, has gone ahead and assigned costumes to most of you, along with what key props you will need. candice, hsing-hui, jeff and kevin will be coordinating a trip to the fabric market/tailor this weekend. i haven't bothered to keep track of who made the team and who got banished so if your name isn't on here, it's because betsy doesn't think highly enough of you to bother remembering who you are. half of you still don't even know who i am so what do i care:

LARPers:

matt: S&Meagol key prop: ring, fish
betsy: the invisible girl key prop: invisibility
jim: gay thor key prop: tiny hammer, jean shorts
toni: pink unicorn/centaur key prop: that damn horse costume, painted
pink, plus horn
barbie: vestal virgin key prop: white, riding on tao's back
jeff and kevin: jolly minstrels key prop: jollies
hhh: dark wizard key prop: black
sandy: apothecary key prop: lots of little bottles
joe: horny hobbit key prop: hairy feet
baby girl: gay conan key prop: sword, loin cloth
gareth: gay viking key prop: viking hat, sword
doc: gay wizard key prop: hello kitty wizard robe and
hat, toning down his gayness
chakkkchaidandfnan: drunk friar key prop: shaving his head, jug
brian: historian key prop: quill pen, journal
jehan: the king key prop: crown, robe
candice: the queen key prop: crown, robe
jenn brown: xena, the warrior princess key prop: sword, xena outfit
alicia: torture mistress key prop: whip, leather
caleb: torture victim key prop: gag, rags
therese: wench key prop: cleavage
joel: gay robin hood key prop: green tights, bow and arrow
mike shyu: horny harry potter key prop: glasses, broom, sweater, british
accent
patrick: dungeon master key prop: cape

party game:

at the party, we will distribute a bunch of playing cards with spells on them. these spells will have both an activation that the card holder will need to perform in order to use the card, and an effect that will have to be done by the person who the spell is cast on. the spell then gets handed over to the person who the spell was cast on, and they can use the card themselves.

examples:

*lightning bolt* activation: shot of beer effect: shot of bai jiu
*fire ball * activation: shot of beer effect: one of those fiery drinks from this weekend.
*slow* activation: ? effect: move in slow motion for five minutes
*animal shape* activation: ? effect: act like an animal of the caster's choice for 5 minutes
*expo yourself* activation: three other spell cards effect: remove one article of clothing

so we need suggestions for more spell cards. i think ten different ones will be a good number.

what needs to happen in the next few days is that the costumes have to be finalized, and a group needs to be gathered to go get everything at the markets. this is going to take some teamwork and coordination. betsy can't handle everything for you. take some initiative.

doc will handle getting the cards made in kunming. but he needs the spells settled upon by the end of this week.

if you don't like your character, and you have a BETTER idea, feel free to change, but let us know asap.

if you have questions, respond all to this email. or contact matt flynn at mabfl...@gmail.com

betsy
xxxooo

WEEK IN REVIEW: Post-China Nationals!

The recap of Tianjin Speed's victory over at the China Ultimate blog.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK:

Picture by Dean of CUG Prospectors

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Before Betsy got quashed by Joe, here's what she had to say:

betsy fanatics,

you remember how hulk hogan turned to the dark side for a while, and was the biggest villain in all of wcw? but then he came back to the good side? well, the same thing happened to betsy for the past couple months. my manager, patrick "million dollar man" li, decided it would be good marketing if i became good betsy for a while.

it turns out that my manager didn't know what he was talking about. good betsy was not a fan favorite. and good betsy had a lot less sex. i hate good betsy.

this week, in honor of my flirtation with professional wrestling, we'll be using everyone's wrestling name.

welcome back evil betsy.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

seriously? are you still looking to evil betsy for your weekly schedule? you realize i make this crap up more than half the time? ask alicia "the tsetse fly" lui what the schedule is. she should know.
_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

Jun 5-6: Shanghai
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague
_________

evil betsy loves euphemisms. everyone knows what making donuts means. but now it's time for a new one. from this point forward, beijing ultimate will

refer to masturbation as killing a baby.

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3 Tournament Recap

It was dark days for beijing ultimate. big brother lost the foreigner bracket for the first time ever. hang time lost in quarters. big brother lost not once, but twice to faber college, including in the final. and evil

betsy had to change allegiances and play with doc "the octogenarian" tobin in order to win the tournament. bad times all around.

some particular lowlights:

losing the party award to doc "the octogenarian" tobin. how could we let this happen? half their team doesn't even drink. this cannot be allowed to happen in shanghai.

sandy "the water cougar" wang making a swilly call that forced us to watch joe "the refrigerator" pellicano and mike "the third wheel" chidfhiaofankjdazxck observe their game against tianjin. i haven't seen observing that bad since chris "boehner" boehner watched me have sex with his mom.

shanghai is three weeks away. everyone better commit to getting ready, or else evil betsy is going to do something drastic and move to kunming. then "the octogenarian" will be forced to move back. this will be bad for everyone concerned.

_________

we're going to do something new with the weekly shout outs and call outs. evil betsy will rank them in order from the most shouted out to the most called out. the scale goes from 1000 to negative infinity. here we go:

rie's nipple (1000): a lot people saw you this weekend, and no one who saw you was disappointed.

jeff "the dude" orcut (999): this was without a doubt the best china nationals yet. well done sir. we have just now dispatched a team to your apartment to knock you out and affix your signature to a life time contract as the tournament coordinator for china nationals.

kelly "the black sheep" yang (500): you worked hard of course, but betsy knows you weren't sincere. you're just trying to make everyone like you, so

you lose some points (whereas jeff gave up on people liking him a long time ago).

mike "the baby-maker" shyu (200): despite being one of the tournament directors, you still found the time to make three new babies over the weekend. one of them with evil betsy (points deducted for the utilitarian nature of the sex).

matt "the SMeagol" mueller (150): it turns out your nipple tastes better than i expected. nice touch with the pink dress.

alicia "the tsetse fly" lui (100): would have been higher, because you obviously worked hard this weekend, but betsy didn't see you smile once the whole time. betsy likes her indentured servants to have a positive attitude.

donald "the curmudgeon" debona (50): you had some awesome stories to share about your time in america. too bad no one could hear you.

joe "the refrigerator" pellicano (-50): there will be no shout outs for you until mini hulk returns.

toni "the homosexual tiger" tao (-100): you worked hard putting together the tournament, but that meant we (and by we, i mean "the tsetse fly") had to put up with your presence for a while longer. now the shunning can begin.

jim "the bafflegabber" kirchhoff (-200): you had the chance to make out with not one, but two different women at the party (age differential of the two prospective make out sessions: 23 years) but instead you wound up in your apt spooning with "the triple H". has evil betsy taught you nothing?

lincoln "the bad apple" cheung (-500): we only made out once. have you turned into a mormon or something? remember that time we had sex on kevin "sleazy rider" reitz' bed while "queen therese" watched? what happened to the good times?

gareth "my forty inch vertical almost makes up for my small penis" marshall (-1000): you coached two teams this weekend: the graduates lost in the semis, and big brother lost china nationals for the first time ever. the good news is the los angeles clippers have a job opening and betsy thinks you are just the man for the job.

doc "the octogenarian" tobin (-5000): i thought we made a deal where we would never have to see each other again, and i wouldn't tell anyone about your weird vegetable sex fantasies.

ryan's finger (-10,000): somehow you ended up tao's ass. the mental image that conjures is shudder inducing.
_________

WEEKLY ITEM #4: Weekly Mailbag

letter #1

dear betsy,

i have read your emails for years. in fact i learned my english from reading your emails. i feel like we are best friends.

who are you?

sincerely curious,
casey "king of the pillow fight" guo

dear kotpf,

let's have lunch this thursday at 12.30. i'll meet you at the corner of dzm and second ring road. don't worry if i'm late, because i hate germans.

evil betsy
xxxooo

letter #2

dear betsy,

i'm really into girls making out? who do i have to make out with in order to watch you and "the tsetse fly" make out?

killing a baby,
andy "the long tall carolinian" young

dear ltc,

if you make out with ryan's finger, i'll make out with whomever you like

evil betsy
xxxooo
_________

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE:

evil betsy has it on good authority that the pain zahlen "the original" titcomb has been experiencing when he pees has something to do with the so called "missing 8 hours" where he disappeared from the party and he didn't show up again until several points into the foreigner final. by coincidence, ellen "the apartment" wong was also not seen during this time. evil betsy is just saying.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

_________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=larp&aq=f

betsy pities the fool who ain’t got a proxy.

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

And then this on 5/18:

wow,

betsy was really drunk when she wrote the weekly email this week. and being on jim's sofa didn't help matters much either.

so it is with true regret that she crossed joe's arbitrary line of what's inappropriate for our private frisbee forum. several people have asked betsy this week, "why did joe pull down this week's email?"

good question, and since in matters of censorship it's always best to have clear guidelines, here are some things that joe found offensive:

*"evil betsy loves euphemisms. everyone knows what making donuts means. but now it's time for a new one. from this point forward, beijing ultimate will refer to masturbation as killing a baby."*

"ryan's finger (-10,000): somehow you ended up tao's ass. the mental image that conjures is shudder inducing."

so dead baby jokes are out. so is the use of the word ass, even though it clearly refers to a sturdy mule-like animal. i hope you are not a practitioner of veterinary medicine, because if you are, you will not be allowed to write about your job, like how you had to stick your finger in that ass to check on its teeth.

things that are still okay include small penis jokes and lesbian make out sessions.

hopefully this clears things up. if you have any further questions of what is allowed and not allowed, contact joe. he'll be happy to let you know.

betsy
xxxooo

Tao's reply:

Hey, while we're censoring Betsy and all, how bout we assign her an editor that puts those punctuation marks where they belong, eh? How bout that?

And no, I make no reference to that question mark -- it's fine -- but rather an evergrowing egregious arrogance about her noncompliance with American English. [A really inappropriate comment withheld.]

Damn, self-censorship IS the most insidious kind.

WEEK IN REVIEW: What we have been preparing for

CHINA NATIONALS IS UPON US!

That is all.

www.zhongguofeipan.com

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Betsy, 5/14:

leering friends,

big brother and beijing bang are set to dominate china nationals this year, both on and off the field. what’s their secret? love and compassion. that and all the relentless scoring, stifling defense, and crazy partying.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Mondays, Big Brother Practice, 8:00-10:00, Zhichunlu

Wednesdays, Track Workout, 7:30-8:30, Bang Fields near Gulou

Sundays, Big Brother Practice, 12-4, ISB.

there will be no practice this weekend, but big brother will be putting on a clinic at china nationals as they embarrass doc’s team. twice.
_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague

the scrimmage this sunday between bang and big brother was an epic battle. the game saw scores of 2-2, 7-4, 7-7, 11-12 and 13-12, with big brother narrowly pulling out the win. really, this game had no losers. bang’s zone was tight in the unpredictable wind and forced big brother out of its comfort zone. big brother showed some patience and had some beautiful zone offense points. both teams are ready to bring some championships back to beijing.

betsy saw many sexy things during the game.

jim’s callahan ftw was sexy.
kevin’s layout hammer grab in the endzone was sexy.
bill’s throws were all sexy.
bang’s nine women were sexy.
bang’s four women who played with big brother were sexy.
the wind was sexy.
joe’s policing of the sideline was sexy.
matt’s grey shirt was sexy.
caleb and joel battling deep is sexy.
baby shyu is sexy, but not in a creepy, leering way.
bang’s multiple upwind points were sexy.
ken’s language was both foul and sexy.
the spirit was sexy.

_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to joe. your performance in mini on sunday reminds everyone of why you were once called mini-hulk.

a call out to women everywhere. why are you so few this weekend? was it all the leering last weekend?

a shout out to matt. this week, matt wins the award for being shouted out most often, without even being a member of the group site.

a call out to the chait. maybe if your butt wasn’t so big, you wouldn’t be getting jeff kicked out of parties all the time.

a rare shout to doc. the ultimate frisbee + ultimate fighting championship mashup wins.

a shout out to mad men parties. you are the greatest parties ever. please continue to hold yourselves on a regular basis. that is all.

a call out to nina. high heels plus already tall girl makes tiny guys like jim and joe feel extra insecure. on second thought, carry on.
_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: MAILBAG

every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.

Letter #1:

Hi Betsy,

As the self-proclaimed “Godfather of China Ultimate”, I’m very excited to return for China Nationals this year. Is there anything I can help with the logistics or anything?

Can’t wait to catch up!
Jason

dear mr. cox,

after leaving beijing with your chinese biddy, many hearts were broken. baijiu chugging became a thing of the past. vomiting at beijing ultimate events plummeted to an all time low. tao became the standard for gentlemenly behavior. it’s not to late to turn that around. the future of beijing ultimate looks to old, wrinkly, relics of the past to show them how it’s done. this is your chance. step up.

betsy
xxxooo

Letter #2

Hi Betsy,

Even though i returned to Providence, I read your weekly e-mail all the time. I even go back and read old ones when i’m bored. Which is a lot. Sometimes i share them with my family and friends, or record myself reciting witty passages to use as my ringtone. What i’m trying to say is, keep up the good work. I’m so excited to be back in Beijing this summer!

Missing Beijing and Betsy,
~Chirona

dear chirona,

if memory serves, you were the one who brought us this:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007195&id=1378740071

your return is eagerly anticipated by all.

betsy
xxxooo

_________

and finally, your moment of zen…

11th edition rules clarifications for observers re: penalties for
offsides.

VIII. Starting and Restarting Play
B. Pull:
4. Positioning before the pull:
a) After signaling readiness, players on the pulling team may move anywhere in their end zone, but their feet may not cross the vertical plane of the goal line until the disc is released.
b) After signaling readiness, players on the receiving team must be in contact with the goal line that they are defending without changing location relative to one another.
c) After the disc is released, it is in play and any player may move in any direction.
d) If either team fails to maintain proper positioning before the pull, the other team may audibly announce “off-sides” and a re-pull ensues. The call must be made before any player on the receiving team touches the disc.
e) In games where Observers are used, the Observers may monitor and call offsides as appropriate. The first instance of offsides for each team will result in a warning and a re-pull. After a team has received its warning, any further instances of offsides are treated as follows:
(1) receiving team offsides: receiving team starts with the disc at the midpoint of the end zone they are defending, after players set up and a check is performed.
(2) pulling team offsides: receiving team starts with the disc at midfield, after players set up and a check is performed.

rules clarifications are sexy.

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

WEEK IN REVIEW: Ready for Tianjin Open

As Big Brother and Beijing Bang (and Bang Bang, i.e. Bang B) prepare for Tianjin Open this weekend, you may be interested to know that no Beijing club team has won a high-level open tournament since, well, Singapore 2004. Bang came close to winning last year when it finished second at China Nationals. The autumn before that, at Hong Kong's Pan-Asian Tournament in 2008, Big Brother lost 15-11 in finals to Sunken Pleasure. Big Brother also lost in the finals of Dalian '09 and Tianjin '09, both times to Shanghai (Shanghai wins a lot).

That's your bit of Beijing Ultimate history for the day.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK:

Wednesday pickup (that wasn't); we played Tao's game of "Frisbee baseball" (if you don't know, you were among the majority who didn't show up Wednesday.

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Betsy and Lauren share the honors.

April 13, Betsy:

big brother,

tie up them laces, put on your sunscreen, and get pumped: it’s tournament time! remember those suicides mean ol’ gareth made us run? this weekend is when it pays off. get an extra day of throwing in this week, get to the gym and loosen up, come to pickup on wednesday. come out fired up and ready to dominate.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Wednesday, Pick Up, 8:30-10:30, Jianwai SOHO
Saturday and Sunday, Tianjin Open

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WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

April 17-18: Tianjin Open
April 24-25: Singapore Women and Open
May 1-2: Jeju Gnarly Nines
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague

props to those who made some hat tournaments to get your pre-season touches in. this weekend is tianjin, the first opportunity for big brother’s 2010 roster to gel in a tournament. watch the google group site for details on transportation, lodging, and other logistics. get psyched everyone. big brother will be sending one team only and will be working on defining roles and trying different lines. talk to jim and gareth if you are unclear about their vision for you. hint: it likely involves horses, ice cream, n cake.
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now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a call out to jehan. it’s been a while since betsy has semi-permanently called someone out. congratulations jehan. you’ve been back in town for what, a month now? start doing awesome things immediately.

a shout out to jim. jim rigged won the recent ningbo hat using mike nads a cunning strategy of zone to embarrass outperform his adversaries. jim’s achievements remind himself us all that he is not only a super great humble man, but also a super great(?) just plain great leader.

a call out to gareth. because of your lollygagging, there was not a single suicide run at last week’s practice. your penance will be one suicide for every suicide not run. betsy will help you with the math if you are confused. it’s forty-two.

a shout out to puma. puma of ningbo fame was the only person to dress up for the star wars theme. he went in full S.W.A.T gear complete with facepaint. betsy hasn’t been this confused by a costume since baby girl dressed up in a pink tutu for barbie’s pink party.

a call out to hhh. if you keep showing up at parties and gatherings, betsy is going to have to start shouting you out more often. you’ve been warned.

a shout out to matt. matt wins the award for enduring the most crap while traveling to a tournament, and came out smelling like roses on the other side.

a call out to sandy. sandy missed two weeks of practice, the ningbo hat tournament, a ridiculous margarita party, and she didn’t even invite betsy to maui. suicides for you as well.

a shout out to ningbo. thanks for the awesome tournament and thanks for buying five more cases of beer once we finished the first two, in like, ten minutes.

a call out to tequila. why must you always make the night end with the chait singing terrible songs terribly at karaoke while joe runs around collecting numbers like he’s in the census as baby girl is passed out in the salsa just before ace and kevin make out in the bathroom again?

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WEEKLY ITEM #3: WEEKLY QUIZ
for you newbies, the weekly quiz is a game where betsy asks a few simple questions, and it's your job to provide the correct answers. as always, googling is prohibited. this week's winner will receive a date with beijing’s most eligible bachelor or bachelorette. if a dude wins and no bachelorette’s are available, jim will dress up like a chick for you. sorry.

this week, a musical multiple choice:

which of the following lyrics in the eloquent and thought-provoking hit “Ice Cream and Cake” by Buckwheat Boyz are not actual lyrics?

a) ice cream n cake

b) ice cream n cake n cake

c) do the ice cream n cake

d) all the kids like ice cream n cake

e) pause step up ice cream n cake

f) now who dat is with the ice cream and cake?

g) the party aint live without the ice cream and cake.

h) you cant have your cookies and ice cream and eat it too!

i) all that crap is in the song. wow.

as for the previous quiz, the correct answer was, still is, and forever will be, the lovely david hasselhoff. congratulations to cdice, the only person to know jeff’s secret man crush. you win some great prizes, courtesy of whatever tao has laying around in his room.
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WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: coming this summer, betsy is proud to present, a beijing ultimate offering, in conjunction with white face studios and big nose productions, the long anticipated and never underestimated, answer to all the beijing lady needs:

tai shuai lao wai. get it while it’s hot, which is guaranteed to be always.

Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

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and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.the-huddle.org/issues/

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

April 14, Lauren:

So, does that mean Jehan gets a shout-out call-out?
But c'mon, give him a break--he had to spend all of January sleeping, eating, breathing next to me. And you all remember my little bout with TB--the treatment did have a 90% efficacy rate.

Also, I want to call-out Betsy's shout out to Jim. Bygone are the days when Betsy modeled perfect grammar for the entirety of Beijing ultimate. God knows they need all the help they can get.

And finally, why couldn't tai shuai lao wai happen when I'm in Beijing? Ya'll have been holding out on me and it isn't fair. I may have to wreak vengeance soon.

ciao,
barbie

Same day, Betsy:

bonus call out.

a call out to google. google doesn't allow advanced text options like strikeouts in group sites. betsy is generally working on a whole different level of grammer awesomeness. jim's shout out should be:

a shout out to jim. jim (rigged?) won the recent ningbo hat using (mike
nads?) a cunning strategy of zone to (embarrass?) outperform his adversaries. jim’s achievements remind (himself?) us all that he is not only a (super great?) humble man, but also a (super great?) just plain great leader.

betsy
xxxooo

Again on that day, Lauren:

whoa. no wonder it didn't make any sense. and now i know why all my cool jokes using strikeouts were previously ignored, and why jim thought i was coming on to him all these years.

you have my deepest, sincerest apologies, betsy. bonus shout out to you, for unceasingly raising the bar for group sites across the globe.

barbie

WEEK IN REVIEW: Off to Ningbo

Apparently the weather's rainy and terrible in Ningbo. Oh well, Beijing will bring the sunlight.

Oh, and welcome back to Beijing, Jehan!

PICTURES OF THE WEEK:


From Michael Chaitkin's Seder on Saturday (photos by Steph Kwan)

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Betsy, 3/30:

plastic junkies,

this week’s sermon is about gluttony. specifically, betsy will be talking about eating in excess. for example, ellen provided unholy amounts of temptuous snacks for the attendees of big brother practice. among the offerings were baby girl’s twice baked sweet potatoes, sandy’s cabbage, and michelle’s carrot cake. everybody ate ravenously as they binged between points. it was pretty great. hooray for gluttony.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

This Wednesday, Pick Up, 7-9, BCIS
Every Sunday, Big Brother Practice, 12-2, ISB, followed by pickup from 2-4.

this week is the final Wednesday session at BCIS for the season. betsy would like to thank everyone for all the fantastic memories this year. however, given that its success was mostly due to the advertisement in the weekly schedule, she deserves most or all of the thanks. also thanks to alicia or something.

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WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

April 3-4: Ningbo Hat
April 17-18: Tianjin Open
April 24-25: Singapore Women and Open
May 1-2: Jeju Gnarly Nines
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague

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now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to tao. you’ve brought great honor and glory to beijing through your victory at the esteemed shenzhen hat tournament. your plentiful past and current failures will be overlooked for one week. enjoy.

a call out to joe. you don’t need a shoulder to run suicides.

a shout out to baby girl. baby girl hosted the cougarpalooza 2010 after party at his home this weekend. he did not invite any of his friends. beijing ultimate owes you a debt of gratitude for taking that down on your own. also: rowr.

a call out to sandy. sandy would be running big brother practice this week, if she wasn’t fleeing the country or frolicking on the sandy beaches of maui and staring longingly into gareth’s piercing blue eyes.

a shout out to matt. he’s going to have his tournament cherry broken in ningbo. everyone wish him luck and ensure he gets so drunk at the saturday party that he ends up grinding on the dance floor with jim’s light saber.

a call out to weather. make up your mind already. are you going to be sandy, snowy, rainy, or sunny? and none of this “oh, i’m just the weather, i occur due to temperature and moisture differences between one place and another and it’s really hard to predict me accurately” crap. betsy is sick of it. although, on an unrelated note…

a shout out to this past sunday’s weather. you were awesome. thanks!

a call out to shen. shen? hello?

a shout out to alicia. even from shanghai, she’s organizing more beijing-ultimate related festivities than twenty tao’s mashed together in a giant tao-mashing machine, harnessing the sum potential of their ambition and motivation, to create a megatao, one which still wouldn’t get up before noon on frisbeeless days.

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WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll

Which of these is the worst idea yet for beijing’s star wars themed costumes at ningbo?

jim – intergalactic jedi pimps

kevin – tailored pink suits for everyone

ace – human light sabers

jeff – a flock of gangster jar jar binks

chicken – screw you guys, i bought the costumes for kunming.

tao – one gelatinous, felching, jabba the hut. (Bonus question: Who
would you rather do: Jabba the Hut right after a shower, or a service
droid?)

alicia – princess leia’s, all chained to jabba the hut of course.

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and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.tutztutz.com/2010/02/the-worst-star-wars-costumes/

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo