Saturday, February 28, 2009

A BCD reminder

A BCD*, as everyone in Beijing Ultimate can tell you, is one of the greatest things in the world. Kevin has called one for tonight to celebrate the arrival of his imported girlfriend, Therese, whom we shall all call Mrs. Kevin from here on.

His words:

Greetings all-

Let's pretend that we actually NEED a reason for a random BCD once in a while. Let us gather at the usual DZM location, just west of the 7-11, on saturday at 7pm to welcome my girlfriend to town. The long anticipated Therese (ter-ace) will be making her Beijing Ultimate public debut for all to heckle/adore. The afterparty location is obvious; we should have no problem cramming everyone into joe and jeff's apartment, with spillover into steph's since she won't be there to stop us from using the community spare key.

Unlike some people who completely vanish when their loved one comes to town (you know who you are), i will be vanishing only sometimes. Come get your fill while you can!


In response, Beijing Ultimate has only one word: Bukkake Yes.

*Boozy Chinese Dinner

Friday, February 27, 2009


They don't say that in the Appalachians, do they?

No, probably not.

Frisbee players Chris Boehner, Chip Rountree and Amy Gardner are in a bluegrass band that played Thursday. Pictures and videos of their performance are here. We at Beijing Ultimate approve.


Joe, you dog, you.


We got some new people in town. Will they ever come out again?

For the food, who wouldn't?


From newcomer Veronica Mars Lee:

Hi Beijing ultimate,

...An american student here...

Hi Veronica!


From Jim Kirchhoff, captain (not technically from this past week, but close enough):

Hey frisbee fans!

It's that time of year when the weather begins to change, the snow starts to fall, and the smell of frisbee is in the air.

What does that mean for us? It means it's time to start thinking about and getting ready for the tournament season ahead. As the club teams begin planning and assembling for the spring season, Big Brother wants everyone to know that practices will be starting again soon for those who are interested in improving their game. Practices will be open to anyone interested in improving their game, checking out the team, and playing some structured, competitive disc.

The first practice will MOST LIKELY be next weekend (Feb 28/Mar 1) depending on field availability. If the weather stays cold, this will mean indoor space, but we will hope to get outside soon. I highly encourage everyone to come out who is interested! Please drop me an RSVP so I can figure out numbers.

Doc, Joe, and I will be running the first practice. Any questions regarding BB beyond that point can be discussed next weekend. Let's get psyched!!!

Also, tournaments are quickly approaching. Jeju is only TWO MONTHS AWAY!!! Jeju is April 18-19 (dates are now confirmed)

A lot of people have been talking about playing and bids need to be submitted soon. To facilitate the process, I am creating a google doc called Jeju 2009 Apr 18-19 Commitment Sheet (yes, that's the actual name). I will share it with the group. This is a particularly difficult tourney to plan for due to the 9 player roster limit so please put your name on the sheet if you intend to go.

Putting your name on the form does NOT require you to play w/ Big Brother, but I am sure it will be useful for ALL potential teams to know who is interested and may help with travel options for the larger community. And don't forget to sign up for Duff's AWESOME SPRING LEAGUE!!!

Thanks and enjoy playing in the snow!!!

Keep on rockin'.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

PICTURE OF THE MONTH: How much, hon?

[1:30 a.m., February 14... Valentine's Day]

Will a rose do?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Betsy Beijing on the recently concluded Bangkok Hat Tournament

There was a hat tourney over the weekend that most of Beijing elected to skip in favor of Pnut's birthday party. Not Betsy though. She corresponds:

hey suckers,

that's right, i'm talking to all you cretins that call yourself frisbee players that didn't go the bangkok hat this weekend. last year we had 8 people there, if you include jenn brown, and betsy does, even if most of you don't really care for her. but these year, we only had two.

now, normally, betsy would be eager to write about how the beijing players did at the tournament, but since doc was the only other person to go, and since none of you actually like him, and since he'll probably talk your ear off about how awesome he was as a captain and how it's not his fault his team sucked, i'm going to leave him out of this email. instead, i'll just give you a little tease of what everyone missed.

and yes, betsy's team won again. that's nine years in a row. betsy is beginning to think she is good luck. the winning color was white. we should all expect more good things out of white teams in the year of the ox.

the weekly quiz:

which of the following best epitomizes what the weekend was like without betsy in beijing:

a) kevin, corey, jim, barbie, patrick li, ken su, shen, and julio all WILLINGLY had sex with their girlfriends/wives this weekend.

b) tao took to hanging all over birthday tina to try and get over all the pain and suffering he feels after yet another rejection from betsy, and in the process learned that adding new rejection to old rejection does not help one's broken heart

c) boehner and the refrigerator shot a special video on saturday night, but had it banned from you tube due to terms of use violations. go to you tube and search for "mini hulk like tossed salad"

d) jeff wrote a mean letter to matt flynn at expressing how upset he was with beijing ultimate for allowing betsy to leave for the weekend. he then went on to complain about the management of beijing ultimate, the poor communication and money management, and the lack of wednesday night frisbee.


what you missed out on in bangkok:

you missed out on yj getting so drunk at the fields on saturday afternoon (yes, saturday) that she tried to insert herself into several couples and get a three way make out session going. all this while games were still being played. the closest she got was with kristin and grant from hong kong.

you missed out on the year 3009 costume party, the highlights of which included a drag queen musical dance number, mary carlson from shanghai dressed in the fork lift like machine ripley used to kill the alien queen at the end of aliens, and steiner dressed in a clown wig and vote for hugo chavez t-shirt, pissing roberto off so much they got into a fist fight, which was eventually ended when raven from manila slapped them both across the face.

you missed out on the best field food betsy has ever had in a tournament, ever.

you missed out on sam berry's little brother trying his best to intentionally throw a game in the b-pool quarters, drawing the ire of the rest of his teammates who actually wanted to win.

you missed out on so much fun, you are going to have to live with the indignity of not going to the cheapest, easiest to get to, most partyin' tournament that side of hk for another full year.


your moment of zen: [EDITOR'S NOTE: Just fast-forward to the 3:17 mark]

this is betsy's next tournament. where will you be?


Oh, and Doc is the Player of the Week.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


From a "beach" tournament last September:

Matt Knowles and Mark Scott, the unfortunate birthday boys.

Monday, February 23, 2009

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: We gon' sip [Stoli] like it's yo birthday

You can find me in the club, bottle full of Bud
Mama I got that X, if you into takin' drugs
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love
So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed
--Curtis James Jackson III, a.k.a. 50 Cent

Sip? No, sip would not be the right word...

Shen at Chocolate, a Russian nightclub

More pictures:

The first place following dinner, Jiangjinjiu Bar, to see Hao Yunyu Band (video clips and more pictures here)


Joe and Daisy

The Ballroom:

Possibly worth enlarging... (pun intended)

Lauren and Pnut

Jeff's version of a lap dance for Amy


Ryan, Eleven and Yin

Andy with the hookah

Helen, apparently refusing Shen's advances

It's okay, Shen is a man with options

The blurriness is appropriate...

Happy 23rd, Pnut.

Friday, February 20, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: Zahlen has gone back to the States. :(

As we wallow in the sadness of Zahlen's departure...


Chris Boehner is making a point of some sort to Mrs. Zahlen, and Kevin is wondering why that girl next to him never seems to give him the time of day.


Bowling edition. If you want details on Beijing Ultimate's Thursday bowling league, ask Candice Lee. If you don't have Candice's email address or phone number, you're obviously not a Beijinger and therefore cannot participate in Thursday Night Bowling League.

How did this happen? A guy two lanes over rolled -- sorry, "rolled" -- a bouncer that knocked down that sign after two-hopping across the lanes. Or maybe it was just one hop.

This was my lane, shared with Kevin and Kat. We were too stunned to laugh.

This is Jim needing to knock down both pins in his final roll -- yes, there're two and only two standing -- to win. Just before he said, "Adam, if I win, you have to make out with me."

He paused a second.

"But if we tie, you--" here he points at Char -- "have to make out with me."

Char, horrified, shrieks, "What do I have to do with this?"

Wouldn't you know, Jim hits the front pin nearly dead on, except the trajectory of the roll is such that the ball deflects off to the side and the rear pin is left standing. It's a tie. Jim runs over to Char and the happy couple smooches right in front of Betsy's face, prompting her to say in a Google Groups post, "Betsy used to like watching Char make out with people. Now she doesn't."


I was going for Jane Austen here, in response to a thread from Pnut titled "Party like its your 21st birthday" (sic):

Dear Pnut,

As a friend, I feel it incumbent upon me to strongly advise you against your birthday plans. Extravagant and fun though your course of action may seem, I fear that, if undertaken, it will do unmitigated and irreparable harm to your as-yet unsullied reputation. And where would you be without that? I deign to repeat that a good girl like you must always consider her reputation above all else, for it holds the secrets to a righteous and upstanding way of life, marked by mental clarity, spiritual tranquility, and, eventually, a husband (trust me when I say I no more wish to rush you into an unsuitable relationship as I would wish for a second plague, but you will agree that we must all enter into that holiest of unions eventually, and that you aren't as smooth around the cheeks as you used to be, would you not?).

You have always bent towards the derring-do, this I realize, but please, if not for yourself then at least for those whom you fashion your friends, reconsider this most grievous itinerary. You say Heat Club is -- I will refrain from imitating your vulgarity -- "Alluring" Night, but ask yourself: what grade of scoundrel will you debase yourself to attract? What momentary burst of ecstasy would you not forgo to keep pursuing, with a clear conscience, a life of contentment that, however deferred, is no less intense, intoxicating, passionate, and potent? To say nothing of the pernicious effects the devil's drink would have on your womanly health!

I hope I have not presumed to say too much, for I write with only your well-being and future happiness in mind,


Keep being eventful, Beijing.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Ningbo Hat Tournament and Jeju dates

  • Ningbo, March 27-28

    To register, email with the following filled out (the form will look familiar to anyone who attended Kunming). For more information, email

  • Jeju, April 18-19

    No offense to Boracay and any of the other Philippines touranments, but if there's one resort island you should go to on the Asia Ultimate circuit, this is probably the place. Hotel/food/fields/transportation/booze paid for in ful. We'll ruin the suspense and tell you right now the booze is soju -- lots and lots of it.

These two events have been added to the Google calendar on the sidebar.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Full name: Tina Yen
Chinese name: 颜婷娜 (Yan Tingna, meaning Graceful Color)
Nicknames: Pnut (current), T-Bone

Birthday: Feb. 21, 1986
Gender: Unknown
Hometown: Richardson, Texas, U.S.A.

Siblings: Complicated
Parents: Both
Offspring: At least one (pictured)
College: Wellesey '08 (Ultimate: Whiptails)
Major: Urban studies and political science

Most recent arrival in China: Late August '08
Reason: Fulbright in urban/architectural history

China Ultimate teams: Beijing Bang, Hang Time

Start in Frisbee: senior year of high school

Websites: Several, but she won't tell you. But she says if you find it on Google you can post a link to the Beijing Ultimate Google Groups.

Cooking, sketching, sleeping, sitting around thinking about life, dancing around in her room by herself, dressing up (evidence below)

Tina, on the half-week-eve of her 23rd birthday, has a reputation she'd like to renounce. She would like you to know, for the record, once and for all and all that jazz...

"I don't have any reputations."

Let the silence incubate.

When politely asked if she was sure about that, Ms. Yen made a turn for the indignant. "I don't know, do I? Would you like to enlighten me on what my reputations might be?"

It's a question her many victims would gladly answer.

Exhibit A: Andrew Shen, a demure, reasoned man without an enemy and hardly a hate in the world:

"It was shocking at first, maybe just because of the sheer surprise. Upon reflection she was very kind and landed a very solid and clean hit, going for the cheek and not the nose or the upper portion of my head. It was also incredibly well timed, perfectly using the momentum of my head rotating to benefit the force of her fist swinging. She proved to me that she is obviously well-trained in this aspect of life."

Exhibit B: Andy Young, athlete and scholar, non-threatening and unobtrusive:

"It was like a gentle breeze when it's already -18 degrees Centigrade outside: not something you'd ever want, but really the least of your worries. Having seen the devastation she has wrecked before, I expected more, but then again, she was still on her first beer. I pass the following judgment: weak sauce."

Exhibit C: Kevin Reitz, the image of the perfect gentleman:

"Not being hit by Tina Yen is fantastic and raises your life expectancy considerably. I cannot recommend it highly enough."

To these many testimonials, Tina could only shake her head and say, "I don't see how this is relevant."

When asked, point-blank, why she punches people, Tina opened up slightly: "I punch people that I don't think I can trust. Is there a need for a reason? Maybe I'm just belligerent. I don't know. Maybe I'm just violent at heart."

You don't know your own heart?

"I think I do."

In actuality, Tina has a kind, caring heart, full of empathy and child-like wonder and sweet -- sometimes bitterly so -- memories of her many friends scattered across the world. It is also a closed place, filled with secrets. Not shameful, mind you, but "just some things that should be kept in the private sphere." She claims to be a cautious-minded person, but if you believe that, perhaps you haven't seen her trying to slide in new-fallen snow in her leather brown shoes, giggling all the way.

It may not seem so, but she's the introspective sort, an introvert who disguises her shyness under a love for dance and fascination with worldly things. About China, she says, "There're a lot of things that I like to see happen differently in China, but at the same time I have this inner conversation in my head, Oh, am I coming from a Western perspective? I can't impose upon China, I don't want to be a modern imperialist and say things must be done a certain way."

She relates the story of an old man in a hutong she met two years ago in her first trip to Beijing. She was with her study-abroad group touring Beijing's ancient alleyways when he pulled her and her friends inside. He sat them down, offered them drinks, and began talking about how difficult life was for him and his daughter, who he could not afford to send to school. He asked for help. He asked, specifically, for money. Tina, heartbroken but penniless, did not know what to do. That experience shaped her thinking and paved the way for her return last summer.

If you need any more proof of her kindheartedness, here are some pictures of animals she's posted on Facebook:

In other words, if you find a stray animal, give it to Tina to raise. It also means we are now accepting donations for the "Buy Tina a Rabies Vaccine Shot" fund.


Beijing Ultimate: How honored do you feel to be the first female to be featured as the Player of the Week?
Tina Yen: I don't believe I'm the first.

BU: A true skeptic.
Tina: Yes.

BU: So do you feel you can know nothing beyond what you perceive?
Tina: No, I believe in faith.

Tina: Those are matters of the heart.

What does your heart tell you about faith?
Tina: I believe that some things are unknowable, and if you want to believe in that thing, it requires faith.

So the question becomes, Why do you choose to believe in unknowable things? Isn't it more convenient to accept that they're not there?
Tina: It could be more convenient, but life isn't always convenient.

What do you mean?
Tina: I think sometimes it's easier to believe in something even though you can't perceive it.

BU: Do you mean easier or more convenient?
Tina: I think if it was easier to believe in something, there wouldn't be as many true skeptics. In our time it's easier to doubt than to believe.

BU: Are you a skeptic or are you a believer?
Tina: Depends on what we're talking about here.

BU: I deal in absolutes.
Tina: Do you believe in absolutes?
BU: The question is posed to you.
Tina: I belive in absolutes.

BU: So are you a skeptic or are you a believer?
Tina: If you want to boil it down to a single thing, yes, you can call me a beliver. I like to believe that people like you are still good people, and that perhaps I can trust people like you at some point in time.

BU: Whoa, hey, why are you bringing me into this?
Tina: Because you're sitting in front of me.

BU: I don't believe I am.
Tina: I'm about to throw your flash drive into your beer.

POSTSCRIPT: Guess Tina's age in the following picture and win a prize!


For such a one with an
Unpretentious smile,
Could we not say, with all the colors in the
Kaleidescope of the heart,
That in this most brutish, most awful
Reality we might find
Communion, sweet

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

RETROSPECTIVE: A little bit of Bang in big Hong Kong

Beijing Bang in Hong Kong:

From Helen Lu

Beijing Big Brother and Shanghai Huwa also had good performances.

A different vantage point of Big Brother's rendition of Lemon Demon's "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny":

Monday, February 16, 2009

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Frisbee totem

As Chen Zhen looked through the telescope from his hiding place in the snow cave, he saw the steely gaze of a Mongolian grassland wolf. The fine hairs on his body rose up like porcupine quills, virtually pulling his shirt away from his skin. Old Man Bilgee was there beside him. This time Chen did not feel as if his soul had been driven out of his body, but sweat oozed from his pores. He had been on the grassland two years but still had not lost his fear of Mongolian wolves, especially in packs. Now he was face to face with a large pack deep in the mountains, far from camp, his misty breath quivering in the air. Neither he nor Bilgee was armed— no rifles, no knives, no lasso poles, not even something as simple as a pair of metal stirrups. All they had were two herding clubs, and if the wolves picked up their scent, their sky burial would come early.
--opening paragraph of Wolf Totem, by Jiang Rong

Happy Rat sporting a real wolf pelt (with a bear claw and other accoutrements)

Friday, February 13, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: Last thoughts on Kunming

It was really, really sweet, and awesome and spectacular and incredible and sweet. Did I already say that?


Friday: Hump Hostel, ping-pong, and tossing on the Golden Horse Square

Registration party at the Speakeasy: baijiu, basically

Day 1, Saturday: Spongebeard Boobpants, 3-0;, 2-1; After the Game, 1-2; Ningbo, 0-3

Saturday night dinner and party: Initiations and drinking games, e.g. Survivor Flip Cup, Fuck the Dealer, Racehorse, Twister, etc.

Day 2, Sunday: semis -- Spongebeard Boobpants beats Ningbo 15-3; beats After the Game 10-9 after trailing 8-5 at half; finals -- SBBP wins 15-10

A lot more photos here.


betsy's valentine's special:

i know that many of you have been waiting for me to announce who i'll be spending my valentine's day with. well, you can't pin this butterfly down. i'll be keeping my options open til the last minute, in case something better comes along. and something always does. sorry fellas.

but what i can do for you is give you all a chance to find another valentine more in your league.

so betsy presents the win yourself a valentine contest. this contest is open to all beijing residents, male and female alike. the lucky winner will have their own special valentine's dinner with beijing's newest eligible female, alicia liu.

between now and saturday, you have to make your case to be alicia's valentine. buy her flowers. bring her chocolate. take her to go used bike shopping. whatever it is, you better get moving, because valentine's day is right around the corner.

the winner will be announced saturday at 3 pm, which will give the winner a chance to shower and shave, and get to hong kong, which is where alicia is going to be this weekend. don't worry, you'll have a free place to stay with alicia's parents, and you'll be back in time for frisbee on sunday.

here's the early handicapping:

chris b. 2-1 odds (they've already shared a subway to disc together, had dinner together, and held hands in the park. chris is definitely the early favorite)

chip 3-1 (they have never actually met, and chip has a girlfriend, but he's incredibly good looking. that has to count for something)

zahlen 5-1 (zahlen actually forgot who alicia was and had to be reminded last night at pick up. but never count zahlen out. when zahlen sets his mind on something, he's hard to resist.)

barbie 7-1 (interest in barbie at a all time high after this weeks rumor began circulating)

kevin 10-1 (kevin's a long shot, but betsy is pulling for him. maybe then he'll stop bothering me about valentine's day)

jeff 12-1 (jeff's heart has never really gotten over char, so it would be nice to see him finally make a comeback with allicia. too bad alicia's least favorite colors are orange and pink.)

patrick li 20-1 (patrick is rich. alicia likes rich people. she told me so herself. that's one reason she like's me so much. but patrick is married, which is a strike against him. but did i mention he's rich?)

doc 10000-1 (keep dreaming, doc!)

good luck to all the contestants, and happy valentine's day!