Friday, February 20, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: Zahlen has gone back to the States. :(

As we wallow in the sadness of Zahlen's departure...


Chris Boehner is making a point of some sort to Mrs. Zahlen, and Kevin is wondering why that girl next to him never seems to give him the time of day.


Bowling edition. If you want details on Beijing Ultimate's Thursday bowling league, ask Candice Lee. If you don't have Candice's email address or phone number, you're obviously not a Beijinger and therefore cannot participate in Thursday Night Bowling League.

How did this happen? A guy two lanes over rolled -- sorry, "rolled" -- a bouncer that knocked down that sign after two-hopping across the lanes. Or maybe it was just one hop.

This was my lane, shared with Kevin and Kat. We were too stunned to laugh.

This is Jim needing to knock down both pins in his final roll -- yes, there're two and only two standing -- to win. Just before he said, "Adam, if I win, you have to make out with me."

He paused a second.

"But if we tie, you--" here he points at Char -- "have to make out with me."

Char, horrified, shrieks, "What do I have to do with this?"

Wouldn't you know, Jim hits the front pin nearly dead on, except the trajectory of the roll is such that the ball deflects off to the side and the rear pin is left standing. It's a tie. Jim runs over to Char and the happy couple smooches right in front of Betsy's face, prompting her to say in a Google Groups post, "Betsy used to like watching Char make out with people. Now she doesn't."


I was going for Jane Austen here, in response to a thread from Pnut titled "Party like its your 21st birthday" (sic):

Dear Pnut,

As a friend, I feel it incumbent upon me to strongly advise you against your birthday plans. Extravagant and fun though your course of action may seem, I fear that, if undertaken, it will do unmitigated and irreparable harm to your as-yet unsullied reputation. And where would you be without that? I deign to repeat that a good girl like you must always consider her reputation above all else, for it holds the secrets to a righteous and upstanding way of life, marked by mental clarity, spiritual tranquility, and, eventually, a husband (trust me when I say I no more wish to rush you into an unsuitable relationship as I would wish for a second plague, but you will agree that we must all enter into that holiest of unions eventually, and that you aren't as smooth around the cheeks as you used to be, would you not?).

You have always bent towards the derring-do, this I realize, but please, if not for yourself then at least for those whom you fashion your friends, reconsider this most grievous itinerary. You say Heat Club is -- I will refrain from imitating your vulgarity -- "Alluring" Night, but ask yourself: what grade of scoundrel will you debase yourself to attract? What momentary burst of ecstasy would you not forgo to keep pursuing, with a clear conscience, a life of contentment that, however deferred, is no less intense, intoxicating, passionate, and potent? To say nothing of the pernicious effects the devil's drink would have on your womanly health!

I hope I have not presumed to say too much, for I write with only your well-being and future happiness in mind,


Keep being eventful, Beijing.

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