WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Aaron, that fucking tourist

First, let me just say that this weekend was pretty successful, all things considered. Yesterday Ellen held a game night / afternoon. On Saturday, we ate at Sultan after the last pickup of 2010, then went to Second Floor in Sanlitun. On Friday Alicia hosted some friends at her place and we played epic ("surreal," as Alex put it) Kings. And Aaron Leung was not here to ruin any of it.

You remember Aaron, I'm sure -- That Fucking Tourist. He flew in on Tuesday from Canada on a white unicorn like fucking Fabio just off a masturbatory binge, then left on Friday like the fucking tourist he is with a roll of FUCKING PICTURES. And where was your yellow hat and tour guide flag, you fucking tourist douche? Next time you grace Beijing, leave the point-and-click at home and just enjoy the company, okay? Ah, who am I kidding... go back to France!

Disclaimer: Or Aaron took no pictures at all. That fucking guy.

WEEK IN REVIEW: Last pickup of the year

After this Saturday, pickup is OFF until after the holidays. We will resume back up at BCIS on Wednesday, January 12, at 7 pm per usual.

We were graced by the presence of Aaron Leung for a few days this week. We'll write about it in the upcoming Weekend Roundup [update: here].

On Thursday, Ken Dry invited us to his apartment to drink his liquor (and help him clean some things). It was a good time.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK:
See yesterday's post.

And this (explained below):


GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK, pt 1:

Candice Lee and her bowling league (titled "BOWLING 2011 (almost)"), 12/15:

Hello Bowallers,

I hope everyone is doing well and getting ready for the new year/new bowling season!

In January we will commencing next bowling league, so get out your shoes, your balls, and game face.

This coming *Monday, Dec Thursday, Dec 20* will be a *WARM UP BOWL at Gongti 100 at 9pm. *

It's going to be a real casual bowling session, but it's just a good opportunity to massage our egos and shine our balls. I know this is a bit last minute, but come on out if you have time! We can just rent lane by lane and sip on some cocktails（tiger beer?). btw, byo.

Also,* if you're interested in signing up for bowling league next year, send me an email before January 10 so that I can set up the brackets*. I'm thinking Thursday nights at 9pm, similar to last year. The *start date will be January 13.* This year I will really send out the final scores and be more organized. It will probably be about 45 rmb per person per league game.

Each team can have from 4-5 players (4 main players, 1 alternate). Try to have teams co-ed, but I understand otherwise. * Send me team names!*

Please forward this out to anyone who would be interested in joining! I can put them on the mailing list (I'm sure I've forgotten bunches of people). Otherwise, if you want off, just let me know and you will no longer receive fun emails from me. ( for bowling at least, not guaranteed for kickball)

There will also be an* impromtu pre-pre bowl tomorrow night, Thurs Dec 16, at 9pm.
*
Let's get em rolling,

Candice
[number redacted]

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK, pt 2:

Betsy! 12/15:

frisbee adobo,

betsy is back after basking in the philippines and getting her fill of beaches, sunshine, and chiseled, tropical, testosterone-filled men (read: lincoln) before returning to freezing beijing to hibernate for the winter. she knows you (read: tao) were going through betsy withdrawal, but betsy wouldn't abandon you (read: baby girl) and
deprive you (read: still baby girl) of her scintillating seasonal sauciness. because she loves you (read: oh crap, maybe was that andy?). yes she does.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: Schedule

Pickup Wednesdays 7-9pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at BCIS

no practice until gareth deems it warm enough to cut off that awful facial hair.

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments

Vietnam Hat tournament, December 18-19th, 2010
Bangkok Hat tournament, February 12-13 or 19-20, 2011
Phnom Penh Big Phat Hat tournament, March 5-6, 2011
Boracay Beach tournament, March 20-21
PAGANELLO! Beach tournament, April 21-25, 2011

_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll

1. matching: who asked for what for christmas?

A. gareth 1. an iphone
B. sandy 2. an iphone
C. ken dry 3. a new boyfriend, or at least his abs back
D. kevin 4. a new boyfriend, and possibly new shorts
E. leigh 5. a green man
F. chaitkin 6. a new roommate
H. Ingrid 7. a few more inches on his "vertical"
G. doc 8. what's christmas?

2. which of the following couples are so hot right now?

a. chaik-fil-a
b. destijimmer
c. drewleigh mobloomfat-young
d. muelin mattgrid
e. garcraft
_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you do not want to get called out.

--special manila edition--

a shout out to zahlen. sure, you are fatter and slower, getting older, and not as sharp-witted as you once were. but something something thanks for playing with big brother in manila. it was pretty great.

a call out to ellen. next time baby girl invents a game that directly involves embarrassing and upsetting you, try harder not to be embarrassed and upset. it ruins all the fun.

a shout out to rob. betsy doesn’t care what everyone else says about you, she still thinks you are fun.

a call out to subic. possibly more parking attendants would improve the experience. beijing did not feel like all their parking needs were being met. just a suggestion.

a shout out to chaitkin. yay chaitkin.

a call out to kevin. more botched jeepny rentals, please. what does a girl have to do to get completely lost and ripped off in the philippines nowadays? go home with a green man, perhaps?

a shout out to nina. nina played an entire tournament without injuring anyone. jim’s feelings do not count.

a call out to green man. betsy knows what happened on the golf course, and she’s never going to be able to think of “hole 10” on the “back nine” the same way again.

a shout out to femtight. gareth can tell you why.

a call out to penifresh. betsy is allergic to tutti-fruiti and now she has a rash. on her feet. joe can tell you why.

a shout out to hhh, nicki, baby girl, gareth, and jim. seriously, you all deserved the awards given to you. no joking. for reals yo. also tao and zach for the greatest. seriously everyone.

________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GS6gKxG_jo

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

And Tao, a mere 25 minutes later:

Oh, great, Betsy is back whoring up the town. Are you using protection this time at least, you skank?

But Alex Ornik is REALLY excited. No, seriously.

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Exhausted and sunburnt

CUUP did not win Singapore Open, but it got medals...

...for winning B pool.

Sunken Pleasure and Disk Knights, who came out of CUUP's pool into the A bracket, both made semifinals.

More later. For now, check our sister site, China Ultimate, and find yourself humored by Ken Su:

Date: Aug. 6, 2009
Subject: C.U.U.P. - Armament and Supplies Procurement Department Report ...

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing well and following Milan/Tao's eating suggestions (myself I had a healthy bit of airport KFC for breakfast - may be a couple days late according to the schedules but I will consider it part of the protein loading piece).

I am pleased to report that the gear for Saturday is now all sorted and is now fully smuggled past customs into Singapore. It was a bit hairy at the Beijing airport this afternoon - the post-911 airport security world is apparently also on full alert cracking down on plastic toy guns and plastic toy knives (oddly enough I don't think these had showed up on the initial bag X-ray as they are all plastic, but the 15 metal flasks did catch a lot of attention leading to a full luggage search where the guns got flagged by some supervisor). Thankfully as with all things in China after long discussions, negotiation fatigue set in and the supervisor actually got some personal phone call and the junior security staff basically decided they were ok provided I promised not to take them out of my bag and threaten people on the plane with them. As luck would have it, the Singaporean customs authority also caught them on scanner on the way out of the airport and the detail oriented Singaporeams insisted on checking each and every flask to confirm they weren't already filled with alcohol or drugs (strangely enough they never bothered to check my two nalgene bottles which have probably more total volume than the flasks for bringing in alcohol).

I got the most applicable sizes for hats, shirts, and tank tops based on the emails received. As well, all requests for belt/flask were filled in accordance with emails also. Hopefully everyone is happy with their loot as I am not sure if we will have time to set up any Customer Service Feedback Desk for complaints or return requests.

Final cost is slightly less than originally quoted for the basic package so Rmb68 is good for the basic package. For those who ordered extra things and those who already had their own shirt, the prices are as follows for you to add or deduct as appropriate from the Rmb68 basic fee:
- T-shirt (Rmb25)
- Plastic gun that shoots darts (Rmb25)
- Plastic Knife (Rmb10)
- Belt (Rmb23)
- Flask (Rmb23)
- Plastic gun that makes shooting noises (Rmb25)
- Goggles (Rmb25)

Distributions and disbursements on Friday in the party dorm room.

Fly safe and see you all soon.

Ken

Also, congratulations to Andrea Cheng, Aaron's girlfriend, who was selected for the tourney's all-star team. Considering there were 24 teams, being recognized as one of the three best women all weekend -- amid awesome female players, if I may add -- is impressive and worthy of a picture.

WEEKEND ROUNDUP, part 1: Nerdiness

Sometimes Beijing Ultimate enjoys going to the mall on Friday night and playing Settlers of Catan for three hours, or playing Jenga inside a noisy bar.

No, seriously.




About Catan: Kevin was going to win on his turn unless Lincoln, who goes before him, could get Aaron -- his childhood friend and (probably) long lost (twin) brother -- to trade him a few woods and bricks so that he could win. We decided it'd only be fair if Lincoln and Kevin had a chug-off to determine the winner.

Here's how it went down:


Between the Catan game and the Jenga, drummer extraordinaire Kevin Reitz showed off his new band, Lan Daotian, at a cozy bar called the Hot Cat Club, tucked away in a hutong near Beixingqiao and the Lama Temple. This is them playing on Saturday, along with pictures of his fan club and the lovely Alicia:




Well done, good sir. If you're unfamiliar, this isn't the first time Kevin's played for the crowds.

We'll have a video up in the second part of Weekend Roundup. (Update: here)

POSTSCRIPT: Jenga -- minutes of entertainment!

RETROSPECTIVE: Just another Tuesday post-pickup

At our go-to restaurant on May 26, 2009.

WEEK IN REVIEW: The reason Beijing will win the Shanghai tourney party yet again

THE WELCOME BACK KEN DRY EDITION (he's pictured below as Tennessee Ave.)

A week and a day away from the Shanghai tournament...

As the party theme this year is "Construction," Beijing Big Brother will be going as Doozers, those lovable creatures from Fraggle Rock who must continually build cubic sugar (crack?) structures in order to survive. Here is your PICTURE OF THE WEEK, via Betsy's May 26 post:


YouTube clip (the original Yes We Can)

This is an appropriate follow-up to Beijing's award-winning (everyone knows Beijing should have won) costumes from last year's Shanghai tourney.






This was during a rough stretch in Sandy's love life.

Be sure to check this site Tuesday for the pre-Shanghai retrospective.

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Betsy, for the fourth straight week, 6/2/09:

frisbifarians,

betsy is all aglow this week. she is well rested from the long weekend and has eaten enough glutinous rice balls to last through the winter. if she never sees another zong zi again in her life, she will be sad, because they are tasty.

so she's got that going for her, which is nice. then there's the whole big brother world domination at shanghai in only 11 days thing. get pumped.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Every Tuesday, Pick Up, 8-10pm, Deshengmen
come work on the skills from the last few practices: switches, break throws, hard marks, and the first step after your throw.

Sunday, Big Brother practice, Dulwich, 2-4pm, followed by pickup 4-6pm

Thursday, Fraggle Rock Viewing, Club Sandwich, 8-10pm
it's no secret that fraggle rock is all abuzz these days. everyone's talking about it, even the uncool kids like doc. he says things like, what’s a fraggle? regardless, everyone’s excited. jim got the masses joined together in a theme song sing-along at laurene's BCD. then they cried sweet, sweet tears of anticipatory joy. gobo would be proud.
_________

WEEKLY ITEM #2: MAILBAG
every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.

Letter #1:

hi betsy,
i haven’t been coming out much lately but i was wondering, are there any new studs in town i should keep my eye on? i appreciate any tips!

looking for fresh meat,
c-dice

hi c-dice:
first of all, you know our arrangement: after betsy’s had her pick you can slum off the leftovers. but the sad truth is, there isn’t much to work with these days. even our resident bachelors are shacking up… kevin, chris, doc, and tao, against all odds, are getting lucky. and there have been few replacements as of late. joe and jeff are still technically available, although they don’t like to be separated. how do you feel about indian?

betsy
xxxooo

Letter #2:

hi betsy,
this is gavin, from the dragons. why don’t you ever come out to play ultimate? i have never seen you there.

can’t wait to play with you!
gavin

hi gavin!
thanks for writing! betsy has been out, almost every week. she’s always wanted to meet you, but the truth is, she’s a little shy in person. you will have to make the first move.

heart-a-fluttering,
betsy
xxxooo

_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to laurene. thanks for teaching us that some french people are actually pretty cool. you’ll be missed. betsy will come visit you in brazil.

a call out to kevin. catch your cares away? you get your head out of your butt. even doc knew that one and he’s more clueless than tao. shake shake, kevin, shake shake.

a shout out to jeff. jeff remains on semi-permanent shout out status. this week, betsy congratulates him for yet another bumbling adventure which eventually descended into complete drunken madness, culminating in repeated bouts of falling down. that was disc on saturday. also for that time when he drank a half bottle of whiskey.

a call out to aaron and tao. you have one more weekend before shanghai to set up the awards party. do not tempt betsy’s wrath. she’s been in a good mood lately.

a shout out to marjory. betsy appreciates how your minions sing your praises… “the trash heap has spoken! nyeah!". betsy will be taking lessons on thursday, and will soon have her congregation praising her thusly.

a call out to sandy, tao, alicia, doc, charlotte. you all are making betsy work hard for material this week. even harder than you need to work to get with tao’s mom. fortunately tao’s mom is still comedy gold.

a shout out the whole frisbee community. you make betsy proud. get pumped. shanghai is only 11 days away.

a call out to jehan. why haven’t you called? betsy doesn’t like to play games.

_________

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: betsy witnessed a perverse display of man-on-man-beast action after laurene’s bcd. while joe looked on with jealousy, jim was seen taking luxurious body shots off jeff: salt in the belly button, lime squeezed onto the nipples, mouth-to-mouthing the tequila. hsing-hui while practicing for a future in gay porn, captured the whole thing, put it to music, and will be distributing it at all the local dvd cellars. the reception will be outstanding. look for a sneak preview at this week’s fraggle rock showing. hsing-hui has already leaked information about her next installment… doc the peep and brian the martyr starring in “middle-aged lovin”.
_________

and finally, your moment of zen:

…will be shown this thursday at club sandwich, from 8-10pm.

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo

The honorable mention goes to Jehan, for the effort...

Betsy,

I don't play games.

I play *game*.

(Yes, I really wrote that)

Who is Betsy Beijing?

Polymath. Coquette. Epicure. Bon viveur. These are all terms to describe Betsy Beijing, but who is she, exactly? Would she appreciate those fancy-schmancy terms, or would "cute" suffice? If we peeled back the blubber of facade, would we be greeted with a scowling tiger or kittenish lady? Would we know a real smile from the torturous coyness we've come to expect? The real Betsy, when she's out of makeup and exfoliating in the lonely hours of the night -- nude at heart, unafraid, truthful in beauty -- where is she to be found and how is she to be found out?

We only have glimpses, like when she described her strengths and weaknesses in a mock job application in a June 25, 2007 posting on Google groups:

strengths:
people person
language skills
diplomatic
good at networking
extremely attractive
care about the environment

weaknesses:
poor attendance
trail of broken hearts easy to trip over
incapable of human emotion

She remains shrouded in secrecy, cautious even as she gives herself over -- her whole self, that is what you do not seem to understand, she gives and loses a part of her whole self every time she slips into the warm throes of yet another night -- and smiles that hollow, sweet smile, laughs that ginger, simpering laugh.

Who is Betsy? We're not the only ones who wanted to know. In part two of our two-part interview, Beijing Ultimate solicited people from as far as Hanover, New Hampshire, and Vancouver, Canuckistan, to send in questions, and once again Betsy supplied the answers as only she could.

Jeff Hartline asked, "Betsy Beijing, what's your number?"

Betsy: who's jeff hartline? is he cute? is he rich? should i get to know him? or will it just be a waste of my time?

Molly Roy: "If you had to pick a suitor on the Beijing ultimate team, who would it be and why?"

the question that needs to be asked is, if i had to eliminate one suitor, who would it be. answer: doc

Aaron Leung: "What's this?"

don't play coy with me, aaron. you know exactly what this is, and it's going to be the greatest regret of your sad existence that you only got to get with THIS once.

Lauren Reed sent in a question in essay form, so we're gonna have to cut it down to, "How do you do ... the most young, handsome, male co-ed admirers? Any secret insights would be more than appreciated, Betsy."

I'm betsy, what can i say. if you hung with me more, you would have a pretty good shot at my residuals.

Chris Boehner wrote his question in paragraph form, which was annoying, so we put his 62-word question into a random number generator and this is what came out: "Do a six pack only to you name with last years bonedaddy is corner I'm promise?"

forty two

Kevin Reitz: "What do you call that anyway? The Ugly Tornado?"

no, the gypsy palm reader

Jeff Orcutt: "How do you keep so fit?"

sex with your mom

Chirona Silverstein: "I would like to know the entire history of your love life since joining Beijing Ultimate Group. You must've had dozens of affairs!"

yes.

Thank you, Betsy, for sharing a part of your soul.