RETROSPECTIVE: Singapore 2009

The debut of China United Ultimate Party (picture by Ken Su)

RETROSPECTIVE: Five Ultimate going into Japan?

Zahlen, owner of Five Ultimate, addressing the Flippers, a Japanese team CUUP played in its first game Friday at AOUCC/Manila Spirits.

Has it been a month already?

WEEKEND ROUNDUP: Exhausted and sunburnt

CUUP did not win Singapore Open, but it got medals...

...for winning B pool.

Sunken Pleasure and Disk Knights, who came out of CUUP's pool into the A bracket, both made semifinals.

More later. For now, check our sister site, China Ultimate, and find yourself humored by Ken Su:

Date: Aug. 6, 2009
Subject: C.U.U.P. - Armament and Supplies Procurement Department Report ...

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing well and following Milan/Tao's eating suggestions (myself I had a healthy bit of airport KFC for breakfast - may be a couple days late according to the schedules but I will consider it part of the protein loading piece).

I am pleased to report that the gear for Saturday is now all sorted and is now fully smuggled past customs into Singapore. It was a bit hairy at the Beijing airport this afternoon - the post-911 airport security world is apparently also on full alert cracking down on plastic toy guns and plastic toy knives (oddly enough I don't think these had showed up on the initial bag X-ray as they are all plastic, but the 15 metal flasks did catch a lot of attention leading to a full luggage search where the guns got flagged by some supervisor). Thankfully as with all things in China after long discussions, negotiation fatigue set in and the supervisor actually got some personal phone call and the junior security staff basically decided they were ok provided I promised not to take them out of my bag and threaten people on the plane with them. As luck would have it, the Singaporean customs authority also caught them on scanner on the way out of the airport and the detail oriented Singaporeams insisted on checking each and every flask to confirm they weren't already filled with alcohol or drugs (strangely enough they never bothered to check my two nalgene bottles which have probably more total volume than the flasks for bringing in alcohol).

I got the most applicable sizes for hats, shirts, and tank tops based on the emails received. As well, all requests for belt/flask were filled in accordance with emails also. Hopefully everyone is happy with their loot as I am not sure if we will have time to set up any Customer Service Feedback Desk for complaints or return requests.

Final cost is slightly less than originally quoted for the basic package so Rmb68 is good for the basic package. For those who ordered extra things and those who already had their own shirt, the prices are as follows for you to add or deduct as appropriate from the Rmb68 basic fee:
- T-shirt (Rmb25)
- Plastic gun that shoots darts (Rmb25)
- Plastic Knife (Rmb10)
- Belt (Rmb23)
- Flask (Rmb23)
- Plastic gun that makes shooting noises (Rmb25)
- Goggles (Rmb25)

Distributions and disbursements on Friday in the party dorm room.

Fly safe and see you all soon.

Ken

Also, congratulations to Andrea Cheng, Aaron's girlfriend, who was selected for the tourney's all-star team. Considering there were 24 teams, being recognized as one of the three best women all weekend -- amid awesome female players, if I may add -- is impressive and worthy of a picture.

Your official Singapore Open preview, from the tourney organizers

Look what they say about CUUP, specifically Doc, who's not even on the team! That's what you call a reputation...

------

Discheads,

Just a couple of days to the madness that will be the Singapore Open 2009. We've got 24 teams from 13 countries descending on our little island for a weekend of Ultimate action. 10 fields on Saturday, 6 fields on Sunday. Good times and a little bit of Singapore patriotism thrown in for good measure (it's National Day on Sunday!). All the logistical details will come to you via the usual channels: water, check, disc, check, slightly bumpy (but at least mimosa-free) fields, check. The list goes on. Blah blah blah. The real question, of course, is who we're going to be getting uncomfortably close to while playing post-game stripper/cowboy/skydiver.

There are rosters floating around somewhere, but we've decided to studiously ignore them. What's the fun in getting it right anyways? So, here you are, a quick rundown of the teams you'll see on the fields come Saturday morning. We take no responsibility for correctness (factual, political or otherwise).

Angelina's Orphans (Cambodia): Straight outta the PP (that sounds a bit sketchy, but it's Phnom Pehn, folks), with some reinforcement from Siem Reap, this is the first time everyone's favourite former French colony has put in a showing at an overseas tournament. Watch for Jared "J-rad" Cahners, back from a 7-year exile in Wisconsin, showing off his svelte beer-and-cheese physique and silky smoove moves all weekend. Word is Greg Bloom is unavailable this time around. Dark horse quotient: 10.7.

CUUP (China): How is this possibly going to work? Beijing and Shanghai playing on the same team? Doc and Alec? Nads and everyone else? A recipe for disaster if ever there was one. We predict travel calls during their warm-up drills, a failed coup for the captaincy by Jim after game two on Saturday, and a top-20 finish.

Discindo (Indonesia): The seksiest team in Southeast Asia is going to make some waves in 2009. We're not sure, how, why or where, but waves there will be. Word has it Brad "Xiao Mu" Smallwood has been recruited to bolster the D line (or was that sideline?). And those of you waiting for the Dan Murphy comeback tour are going home disappointed. The crusty vet index balances nicely at 8.2.

El Ninos (Malaysia): For those of you too young to remember Chris Farley, a quick lesson: their team name means "the Ninos". You can look it up. Lack of knowledge leaves us stretching a bit here, but we think it's safe to say you're in for a good run if you have to match up against these guys. Oh, and watch out for #42.

Flying Naan (Malaysia): For those of you with the right connections on Facebook, you'll already be in a psychedelic trance. Groovy headbands, short shorts and tie-dye jerseys coming your way. Carroll "duuuude" Moreton leads the way here. Over/Under: 54.8.

Junk (Hong Kong): Junk sails into town as the defending China Nationals champions. If they can take down a nation of 1.5 billion, what's to stop them in diminutive Singapore? We've thrown a few dollars at the organisers to make sure Junk gets the worst possible schedule, but we leave it up to you, good citizens, to slow this team down on the field. And did they sign up a lady ringer recently? Only time (or more specifically, Saturday morning) will tell. Latest Hsu Hammer Index reading: 38.9.

Kidlat (Philippines): Kidlat means lightning in Tagalog (or "lightening" for some). Anyways, they walked away with some sort of award at last year's Sing Open (B-Div champs?). Watch out for more where that came from this time around.

Pilipinas (Philippines): The Philippines national team. What combination of young, fast, athletic kids with ridiculous skills will they bring this time around? It's like there's an endless supply of them, and we've had just about enough of it. Give the people what they want: more Erik Waldie!

Mo'chi (Japan/Taiwan): With only two returning players, does this count as the 2009 version of Py-ro, the defending Sing Open champs? Probably not, but still looks like the start of a solid lineup with Yoshio, Kerry, Uli and Shu. Word has it Josh Hon may make a rare appearance, and that Brian Sheehan, one half of the Asian Ulti founding Bryan/Brian team, may also hit the fields. We realise these names mean nothing to 84% of you reading this, but that's not stopping us (or them as they kick your young butts this weekend).

RMIT (Vietnam): More young, fast, increasingly skilled and drilled players making your life difficult on the field. Where are all the old, slow and over-the-hill teams? We hear that Singapore Ultimate is thinking of putting a lower age limit on participation at this tournament next year. Let's hope it's true. Dark horse quotient: 13.2.

Sizzle (Australia): JD and his merry men and women. We never know what to expect from down undah, but rumours have surfaced of a team that could do some serious damage. Might this be the first time an Australian team gets past quarters at Sing Open? Be sure to tune in on Sunday to find out.

Soidawgz (Bangkok): Here come the Dawgz. We've been told it's not quite the team you're used to seeing, but nonetheless, we're going out on a limb and predicting a 14.6 party score on the modified Murphy scale. Adjusted for the hoppiness of the latest batch of Brewerkz's Golden Ale, we're going to bump that up to 15.2 for Sunday afternoon.

Team India (you guessed it, India): This one took a few years to get off the ground, but it looks like there will finally be an Indian team at the Sing Open (side note, there was a team from India out to a beach tourney here in Singapore last year). Led by Mark Scott and no doubt with some spiritual guidance from afar from house-bound brand new father and Asian Ulti founder, Bryan Plymale, we're excited to see what they've got.

UP Sunken Pleasure (Philippines): Someone forgot to tell these guys that we're not playing the 36-a-side, gravel-parking-lot-in-New Jersey version of Ultimate this weekend. They roll into town with a roster of 28 players. They plan to run you very very very deep into the ground. And in case you missed it, they are the defending HK tourney champs. Watch out.

Vudoo (Vietnam): Vietnam Ultimate Defence Offence Organisation! And here we thought it was all about some shamanistic doll-poking ritual thing. Dave Jensen is back with what will no doubt be a team of fast, skilled and hungry players. We hear Dave has slowed down a bit and his hops are on the decline, and that's just fine with us. Have a beer and a couple of donuts, David. No, please, we insist.

And your Singapore teams:

Chuckies: Excuse me, were you looking for a boat race? Chances are you'll see Chuckies throwing down a couple of times this weekend in between hard-fought games. The Chuckies/Soidawgz rivalry will be renewed. We've called in the expert panel for some insights on this one, and they've come up with the following prediction: beer.

Disc Knights Orange: Most recently finalists in KL, DK Orange sees the Knights fully loaded and ready to lay the hurt on some teams this weekend with big hucks, pinpoint breakmarks and huge Ds. You have been warned.

Disc Knights White: More DK, just a different colour. Unclear whether this is the Old Knights, the Young Knights or a combination of the two. Either way, they've probably been whipped into some serious shape, so be ready to run.

Freakshow Green: "Freak-show, Freak-show, Freak-show!" Yawn ... anyone bored of that cheer yet? Well, it looks like we'll have to put up with plenty of it this weekend. The good people at FS have managed to put together not one, not two, but three teams this time around. Defending Bali and KL champs and most recently finalists in Shanghai, we'll see what they're capable of on home turf.

Freakshow White: Captains Chua and Cramer are set to guide FS White to the promised land this weekend. Where that is, and what it's like remains to be seen, but the promised land it will be.

Freakshow Camouflage: A smooth blend of old and new, this full-bodied, well-balanced ... wait, we're talking about an Ultimate team here. A mix of Freakshow's newest players, one or two vets, and a few more than capable additions--watch for FS Camouflage (if you can find them).

Lagi Shiok!: More trouble coming your way from your favourite team with a punctuation! mark! in! its! name! We don't know too much about them, but it's fair to say they'll be! exciting! to! watch!

Shiok!: Hungry and hard working, our guess is that no team has run as many sprints as Shiok has in the last two months. We also bet no team has eaten more cheeseburgers and fries (or maybe that's just Enrique on his own). Do they cancel each other out? Watch for Shiok to push hard to better last year's quarterfinal exit.

SMU: They may all be accountants and spend their free time reconciling general ledgers, but the SMUrfs have skills to spare. In truly inspirational form, Captain Bernard "Balance Sheet" Huang dropped this little gem on us during an interview: "It's going to be a fun weekend.". Good work, Bernard. Try to contain yourself, you're on international email distribution here.

And what's all this without a little bit of prognostication:

Four pools on Saturday. What will the top 8 look like going into Sunday? Here's our very uneducated guess, in no particular order:

Sizzle

Shiok

CUUP

Freakshow Green

Pilipinas

Sunken Pleasure

Mo'Chi

DK Orange

China United Ultimate Party prepares for Singapore

The Singapore tournament is this weekend, and Beijing is well represented as half of the Beijing-Shanghai C.U.U.P. team. Everything from cheers ("We ... C--.... U.... P....!") to jerseys have been arranged. All that's left is to win.

Oh, and costumes for the party, themed "Freedom." We in the China United Ultimate Party have decided to go our own way with this.

An email from Beijing's Ken Su, dated Tuesday, 6/4, subject: Action Required for all members of C.U.U.P. - An organisation dedicated to the Preservation of the Ultimate Harmonious Society:

Team,

Please respond to this email tonight or latest torrow morning as I am procuring everything tomorrow afternoon for everyone (Trudy, are you sure you don't want anything?).

I have checked out a number of sources and I think within our budget we can do the following:
- Green hat with red star
- Green tank top with red star (for ladies) and Green T-shirt with red star (for men)
- Choice of green/camo cloth belt with metal buckle or black pocket/hip flask with red hammer and sickle logo.

The total cost of this would be Rmb75 (ie. A shade over US$10).

Other potential items which would be cool but would cost extra:
- Replica rifle machine gun with extended stock that shoots rubber sticky darts for supression minor rebellions (Rmb120)
- Replica handgun that shoots rubber sticky darts to supress even smaller rebellions (Rmb50)
- Plastic sub-machine gun which makes machine gun noises to scare protestors (Rmb35)
- Plastic army knife (Rmb10)

Also, negotiated specially for Milan - full helmet interior padding with two visors - one clear and one shaded. Green with red star. Rmb150.

REQUIRED ACTIONS:
(1) I need a response for your approximate size for buying the clothing and hat or I will have to guess (which is tough as some of us haven't met).
(2) I also need a response for whether you prefer a belt or a hip flask.

OPTIONAL ACTION:
Please let me know if you want any of the optional items and I will buy those for you as well.

Thanks,

Ken

Singapore! schedule and such

CUUP plays five straight games on Saturday as the 1-seed in the B pool (which means it's ranked No. 2 overall among 24 teams? Maybe, or not...) Looks like Freakshow is the No. 1 overall, with the top four rounded out by Pilipinas and Mo'chi (Taiwan/Japan team).

The schedule:

Rd. 1: vs. Flying Naan
Rd. 2: vs. DK Orange
Rd. 3: vs. Freakshow Camoflauge
Rd. 4: vs. Angelina's Os.
Rd. 5: vs. Sunken Pleasure

WEEK IN REVIEW: The best jersey design. Ever

As a group of Beijingers prepare to merge with a handful of Shanghainese to form the China United Ultimate Party (with its Soviet-style acronym CUUP) for Singapore Open, we've been literally devoting dozens of hours per day on everything from jerseys to, well... jerseys. Witness Kevin Reitz's work today, which will serve as our PICTURES OF THE WEEK:


The scarlet strumpet: worth clicking on for enlargement.

The plan is to put those designs on both jerseys, one dark and one light. Who wouldn't want to buy extras?

GOOGLE GROUPS POST OF THE WEEK:

Every time I think Betsy's reached her peak, she just keeps getting better. Yet again, she wins this week's Post of the Week honors. From 7/15/09:

beijing ultimate summer leaguers,

betsy was delighted with the attendance at busl two thousand nine week one. new faces, fresh talent, and cagey veterans all turned out to ensure tao’s team lost their first match of the season. betsy sends heartfelt thanks out to everyone for smacking the humble into him, and right quick like.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Every Tuesday, Pick Up, 8-10, Deshengmen

Sunday, Beijing Ultimate Summer League, 3-6, Happy Valley

this week – alchemy vs. hello sexy on field something and on the other field, alf the magic dragon vs. mike and kelly’s team, currently known as a markbreaking huck of staggering genius*.

*registered trademark of betsy’s brain any attempt to use this name for your team will result in swift legal action and a kick to the offenders testicles after which you will be allowed to use the name providing you give credit to betsy during every cheer.
_________

now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to tao. nicely run week one. betsy is feeling an odd sensation. it’s not quite pleasure nor is it gratitude. it might be indigestion.

a call out to dragonflies. please stop d-ing our discs with your lifeblood. it disturbs the women when your dismembered parts are stuck to the disc when they catch it. you are dismissed.

a shout out to candice. betsy is sorry she missed the spicy food extravaganza after Sunday disc. her poop hurts a little just from hearing about it.

a shout out to xiao zhi. betsy offers special thanks for serving up an extra steamy serving of your homegrown humble pie to tao’s team, and right quick like.

a call out to guys night out. admit it, you were thinking about betsy and the rest of the girls and their topless pillow fights the whole time.

a shout out to girls night out. special thanks to helen shyu for the food, ace for the massages and oils, and to steph for supplying all the pillows.

a call out to mike. you know why. just be glad you never joined in the pillow fight and you’d better not post any of those photos.
_________

WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE: jeff was seen cheating on joe at kokomo friday night when he thrusted his manliness upon kevin. jeff’s original offer was a pitcher of sangria if kevin danced with a gorgeous stallion of a shirtless manbeast on the dance floor. kevin was just getting his groove on (and shirt off) when jeff junkblocked him. the manbeast was never seen again, although kevin is rumored to return to kokomo each night, just after dusk, longing to rekindle what might have been. also because he’s an alcoholic.
_________

WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll
busl two thousand nine week one was quite possibly the most exciting, most entertaining, and most talked about busl two thousand nine week one in recent memory. which of these is the most likely reason?

a) with doc not playing, all are free to engage in plentiful merriment and mirth making, gleefully brambling through the thick grass, joyously immersed in resplendent, spirited competition amongst fellow players.

b) hello sexy reminded ralph the flacid sliver not to start talking smack before the first game, lest all your hopes and dreams get sideswiped by the humility train.

c) the female domination on alchemy has everyone plotting strategies. so far the most reasonable is to impregnate all their women 6 months ago. now where’d betsy leave her time machine?

d) the team currently known as a markbreaking huck of staggering genius is the last team to decide on a name for themselves. beijing is abuzz with anticipation. will they accept betsy’s decree or will they think up something terrible on their own? only time will tell.

cast your votes!

_________

and finally, your moment of zen…

http://www.youtube.com/user/mugumogu?blend=2&ob=4

catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo