ChampionsBig Brother won the 1st annual Naipao Tires Dalian Beach Tournament over the weekend, winning round-robin games by scores of 13-3, 13-1 and 13-2. In the finals, Big Brother defeated a
team of Chinese all-stars 15-4, though the Chinese players gave an all-out effort with massive layouts just about every point.
Naipao Tires was our sponsor, which was a curious choice considering a) we were on a beach and b) none of us drive cars. The emcee asked
Jim to do a few monkey-like things, which he was happy to do like the simian he is. Later, the mayor swung by and Jim was
asked forced to ask the mayor to sign a Frisbee. I think the expression on Jim's face here says it all:
Bemused -- not. (Picture by Chirona.)
We should point out here that Jim was our unofficial spokesperson all weekened. He conducted two television interviews and countless others for print. They kept asking him things about the tournament, such as -- just before finals -- "So, how many teams were in this tournament?
"Well," he said, "this is the final game. The rest of the teams have been eliminated."
The
two other teams -- both from Dalian -- had indeed been eliminated, leaving Big Brother and the Chinese all-stars.
The reporter said, Ahh.
Many of us had a chance to meet the mayor, and here is me standing right next to him as the press snapped photos around us. I couldn't decide whether to put my arm around the guy.
(Picture by Chirona)Kansas City Royals, represented... I'm so dirty because of a layout-D attempt on Richie during a "showcase game," really a "showcase point" (or three) put on for the sake of the mayor and his entourage, and the press.
Mike Shyu got scored on to end the showcase.
(Pictures by Chirona)Here is an article about the tournament.
Big Brother players got a certificate and a disc as a prize. Later,
Doc speculated that we should have named ourselves "Fuck Tires" and had that written on our shirts. In all the interviews, all we'd allow ourselves to say was, "Fuck tires." That could've been funny, I guess.
(At the end of Saturday, Doc also wondered, aloud, whether it would be rape if, in the process of having consensual sex with a girl, one said, "Hey, I'm raping you now.")
The runners-up:
And... group shot!
The party on Saturday could've been pretty spectacular, except perpetual fog made it impossible to launch the fireworks Dalian's players had bought. We drank, then went to a public bathhouse where I beat Sam in Chinese chess while naked. Then we ate and returned to the beach, where Jim, Sam, Chirona, et al. sang K'naan's Waving Flag song until every Chinese person basically rushed the stage and danced and danced.
Perpetual fog on Saturday:
Those tractors were there to scoop away oil-infested sand.
The party went on:
Then we played Chinese games under a tent until about 2 a.m. while light rain fell.
Ren zhai Jianghu piao a
Shei neng bu ai dao a
(yi/er/san/si/wu) dao kan si ni a!
Good times.
UPDATE, 8/11: Facebook albums here and here.
team of Chinese all-stars 15-4, though the Chinese players gave an all-out effort with massive layouts just about every point.
Big Brother players got a certificate and a disc as a prize. Later, Doc speculated that we should have named ourselves "Fuck Tires" and had that written on our shirts. In all the interviews, all we'd allow ourselves to say was, "Fuck tires." That could've been funny, I guess.
