***Pick-Up**
*
The usual: Wednesday 8-10pm on outdoor astro turf fields at ZhiChunLu. Directions: Take subway line 10 / 13 to ZhiChunLu, exit from G1 and the fields will be about 100 meters to the right past the chuanr stands.
每周三晚上8-10点在室外知春路玩pick-up. 知春路地铁站出口G1然后走路大概100米For May, our pick-up fees are:
Single session: RMB35
Four sessions: RMB120 (upfront payment, cannot carry over to June)
5月的收费:
单次:35元
四次: 120元(不能在六月用)For details, visit www.beijingultimate.com.
***Events and Happenings**
*
This week:
- China Nationals 2011 was a huge success (largest tournament by number of participants)! Thanks to everyone who participated and everyone who helped out! There'll be a post tournament word from Tournament Director Tao soon.
- Come out to Jim and Tao's quiz on Thursday night, 8pm at Kro's Nest. 35 Xiao Yun Lu.***Tournaments**
*
China:
1) Next up on the China Tournament Calendar: Shanghai Open: June 11 - 12. Email Mike Shyu at michaelms...@gmail.com if interested to play with Big Brother.***Farewell and Welcome***
Welcome to Alex Burch.
| Power Pool A | Power Pool B |
| A1: Tianjin Big | B1: Hong Kong |
| A2: CUG | B2: Changsha |
| A3: Hangtime | B3: Bang |
| A4: Shenzhen | B4: Dalian |
| Pool C | Pool D |
| C1: Air Kazak | D1: Air Woo |
| C2: Tianjin Little | D2: Tongzhou |
| C3: Tangshan | D3: Xinjiang |
| C4: Bazinga | D4: TEDA |
| Foreign Pool |
| F1: Big Brother |
| F2: Shanghai |
| F3: Guangzhou |
| F4: Henan |
| F5: Big Brother B |
Just to reiterate what Gareth mentioned at practice on Saturday: as hosts, we have the responsibility to be as warm, welcoming and supportive of our fellow Frisbee friends as possible. We'll be so humble that our humility will be as a boast. Please do what you can to make everyone -- especially those vassals from Hong Kong -- understand that Beijing is the greatest city in the world and we its greatest denizens.
Hey y'all,I have not talked to the TDs about sending this email but wanted to make a personal appeal from afar.As most of you know, China Nationals is a wonderful tournament that helps BB get ready for Shanghai. But at the same time, it represents the largest gathering of ultimate folks in China. This includes many students and Chinese professionals that are visiting their first tournament. It also represents the only tournament that many of them can attend.As Tao already said the budget is very tight. After the sponsorships that make it possible for many of these students to attend are factored into the budget, the situation starts to affect Tao and Alicia's sleep.If any of you can give donations to the tournament, in any amount, I know that they would be not only be greatly appreciated, but they would also give a chance for another Chinese student to have help with tourney fees, or transportation, or lodging.Together, i hope we can all continue to show the Chinese Ultimate community how we roll and how we support this great group of folks.Thanks!JeffP.S. Tell your friends!
***Pick-Up***
Each Wednesday 8-10pm, we will be playing pick-up on outdoor astro turf fields at ZhiChunLu. Directions to the field: Take subway line 10 / 13 to ZhiChunLu, take exit G1 and the fields will be about 100m to the right past the chuanr stands.
每周三晚上8-10点,我们在室外(知春路)玩pick-up. 知春路地铁站出口G1.For April, our pick-up fees are:
Single session: RMB35
Four sessions: RMB120 (upfront payment, cannot carry over to May)
四月的收费:
单次:35元
四次: 120元(不能在五月用)For details, visit www.beijingultimate.com.
***Events and Happenings**
*
This week:- Tianjin Tournament April 16 - 17. Big Brother, Bang and some players from Hangtime will be joining!
***Farewell and Welcome***
***Tournaments***
China:
1) Tianjin Open: April 16 - 17. Big Brother is sending one, maybe two teams. Email Jim at jameskirchh...@gmail.com or Gareth at gmarshall...@gmail.com or Mike at michaelms...@gmail.com if interested to go.
2) Nanjing Open: April 23 - 24. Big Brother is sending a team, email Mike at michaelms...@gmail.com if interested to go.
3) China Nationals 2011: May 21 - 22 in Beijing. This is the largest annual gathering of Chinese disc players in one tournament. This year we anticipate that it'll be bigger and better than before! Stay tuned for details on how to register and play!
4) Shanghai Open: June 11 - 12International:
**For more about happenings around China, check
1) 12th Annual Bali Nusantara Cup is planned for next April 22/23, 2011.
They say they have sweet grass fields and you know the beaches are awesome… Check the website (www.ultimateindonesia.com) for details and email elodiesel...@hotmail.com with any comments or requests.
2) Jeju Dirty Dozens 2011 will be held on the island April 23/24. If you're planning on going and need a team, email jejutournam...@gmail.com. Check out details (need VPN) here:
http://www.facebook.com/l/03dbd47Pn0g94Ttt5tznt98QIUw/koreaultimate.n...
3) Malaysia Open 2011 will be held on May 21, 22 in Kuala Lumpur.
http://chinaultimate.wordpress.com.**
The 5th annual China Nationals tournament will be in Beijing on May 21-22, and here's your chance to contribute in a big way.We have secured a deal with Discraft, but we need to send in a disc design before the end of the month, so here's what I'm hoping this community can provide:
An IDEA for a disc design by Saturday, March 19. I have an idea that may or may not work, so if you're an arts/design person, let me know and we will form a crack team of disc designers and get together some day and hammer something out.
A final GRAPHIC by Monday, March 28. Again, see above note: I'm willing to make a design team and whip up a design on some day.
You will be rewarded with a Discraft disc, credit for the design in tourney packet, and ... I'll think of something else.
ANOTHER IMPORTANT REQUEST: Will anyone be in the U.S. around mid-May and COMING BACK TO BEIJING at that time? Because we would ask if you can bring back a bag of discs for us via carry-on. You will be compensated. Please let me know.
betsy fanatics,
you remember how hulk hogan turned to the dark side for a while, and was the biggest villain in all of wcw? but then he came back to the good side? well, the same thing happened to betsy for the past couple months. my manager, patrick "million dollar man" li, decided it would be good marketing if i became good betsy for a while.
it turns out that my manager didn't know what he was talking about. good betsy was not a fan favorite. and good betsy had a lot less sex. i hate good betsy.
this week, in honor of my flirtation with professional wrestling, we'll be using everyone's wrestling name.
welcome back evil betsy.
WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
seriously? are you still looking to evil betsy for your weekly schedule? you realize i make this crap up more than half the time? ask alicia "the tsetse fly" lui what the schedule is. she should know.
_________
WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments
Jun 5-6: Shanghai
July 4-10: Worlds in Prague
_________
evil betsy loves euphemisms. everyone knows what making donuts means. but now it's time for a new one. from this point forward, beijing ultimate will
refer to masturbation as killing a baby.
_________
WEEKLY ITEM #3 Tournament Recap
It was dark days for beijing ultimate. big brother lost the foreigner bracket for the first time ever. hang time lost in quarters. big brother lost not once, but twice to faber college, including in the final. and evil
betsy had to change allegiances and play with doc "the octogenarian" tobin in order to win the tournament. bad times all around.
some particular lowlights:
losing the party award to doc "the octogenarian" tobin. how could we let this happen? half their team doesn't even drink. this cannot be allowed to happen in shanghai.
sandy "the water cougar" wang making a swilly call that forced us to watch joe "the refrigerator" pellicano and mike "the third wheel" chidfhiaofankjdazxck observe their game against tianjin. i haven't seen observing that bad since chris "boehner" boehner watched me have sex with his mom.
shanghai is three weeks away. everyone better commit to getting ready, or else evil betsy is going to do something drastic and move to kunming. then "the octogenarian" will be forced to move back. this will be bad for everyone concerned.
_________
we're going to do something new with the weekly shout outs and call outs. evil betsy will rank them in order from the most shouted out to the most called out. the scale goes from 1000 to negative infinity. here we go:
rie's nipple (1000): a lot people saw you this weekend, and no one who saw you was disappointed.
jeff "the dude" orcut (999): this was without a doubt the best china nationals yet. well done sir. we have just now dispatched a team to your apartment to knock you out and affix your signature to a life time contract as the tournament coordinator for china nationals.
kelly "the black sheep" yang (500): you worked hard of course, but betsy knows you weren't sincere. you're just trying to make everyone like you, so
you lose some points (whereas jeff gave up on people liking him a long time ago).
mike "the baby-maker" shyu (200): despite being one of the tournament directors, you still found the time to make three new babies over the weekend. one of them with evil betsy (points deducted for the utilitarian nature of the sex).
matt "the SMeagol" mueller (150): it turns out your nipple tastes better than i expected. nice touch with the pink dress.
alicia "the tsetse fly" lui (100): would have been higher, because you obviously worked hard this weekend, but betsy didn't see you smile once the whole time. betsy likes her indentured servants to have a positive attitude.
donald "the curmudgeon" debona (50): you had some awesome stories to share about your time in america. too bad no one could hear you.
joe "the refrigerator" pellicano (-50): there will be no shout outs for you until mini hulk returns.
toni "the homosexual tiger" tao (-100): you worked hard putting together the tournament, but that meant we (and by we, i mean "the tsetse fly") had to put up with your presence for a while longer. now the shunning can begin.
jim "the bafflegabber" kirchhoff (-200): you had the chance to make out with not one, but two different women at the party (age differential of the two prospective make out sessions: 23 years) but instead you wound up in your apt spooning with "the triple H". has evil betsy taught you nothing?
lincoln "the bad apple" cheung (-500): we only made out once. have you turned into a mormon or something? remember that time we had sex on kevin "sleazy rider" reitz' bed while "queen therese" watched? what happened to the good times?
gareth "my forty inch vertical almost makes up for my small penis" marshall (-1000): you coached two teams this weekend: the graduates lost in the semis, and big brother lost china nationals for the first time ever. the good news is the los angeles clippers have a job opening and betsy thinks you are just the man for the job.
doc "the octogenarian" tobin (-5000): i thought we made a deal where we would never have to see each other again, and i wouldn't tell anyone about your weird vegetable sex fantasies.
ryan's finger (-10,000): somehow you ended up tao's ass. the mental image that conjures is shudder inducing.
_________
WEEKLY ITEM #4: Weekly Mailbag
letter #1
dear betsy,
i have read your emails for years. in fact i learned my english from reading your emails. i feel like we are best friends.
who are you?
sincerely curious,
casey "king of the pillow fight" guo
dear kotpf,
let's have lunch this thursday at 12.30. i'll meet you at the corner of dzm and second ring road. don't worry if i'm late, because i hate germans.
evil betsy
xxxooo
letter #2
dear betsy,
i'm really into girls making out? who do i have to make out with in order to watch you and "the tsetse fly" make out?
killing a baby,
andy "the long tall carolinian" young
dear ltc,
if you make out with ryan's finger, i'll make out with whomever you like
evil betsy
xxxooo
_________
WEEKLY RUMOR THAT MUST BE TRUE:
evil betsy has it on good authority that the pain zahlen "the original" titcomb has been experiencing when he pees has something to do with the so called "missing 8 hours" where he disappeared from the party and he didn't show up again until several points into the foreigner final. by coincidence, ellen "the apartment" wong was also not seen during this time. evil betsy is just saying.
Weekly Rumor Disclaimer: The Weekly Rumor is absolutely and one hundred percent true. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
_________
and finally, your moment of zen…
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=larp&aq=f
betsy pities the fool who ain’t got a proxy.
catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo
wow,betsy was really drunk when she wrote the weekly email this week. and being on jim's sofa didn't help matters much either.
so it is with true regret that she crossed joe's arbitrary line of what's inappropriate for our private frisbee forum. several people have asked betsy this week, "why did joe pull down this week's email?"
good question, and since in matters of censorship it's always best to have clear guidelines, here are some things that joe found offensive:
*"evil betsy loves euphemisms. everyone knows what making donuts means. but now it's time for a new one. from this point forward, beijing ultimate will refer to masturbation as killing a baby."*
"ryan's finger (-10,000): somehow you ended up tao's ass. the mental image that conjures is shudder inducing."
so dead baby jokes are out. so is the use of the word ass, even though it clearly refers to a sturdy mule-like animal. i hope you are not a practitioner of veterinary medicine, because if you are, you will not be allowed to write about your job, like how you had to stick your finger in that ass to check on its teeth.
things that are still okay include small penis jokes and lesbian make out sessions.
hopefully this clears things up. if you have any further questions of what is allowed and not allowed, contact joe. he'll be happy to let you know.
betsy
xxxooo
Hey, while we're censoring Betsy and all, how bout we assign her an editor that puts those punctuation marks where they belong, eh? How bout that?And no, I make no reference to that question mark -- it's fine -- but rather an evergrowing egregious arrogance about her noncompliance with American English. [A really inappropriate comment withheld.]
Damn, self-censorship IS the most insidious kind.
leering friends,big brother and beijing bang are set to dominate china nationals this year, both on and off the field. what’s their secret? love and compassion. that and all the relentless scoring, stifling defense, and crazy partying.
WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule
Mondays, Big Brother Practice, 8:00-10:00, Zhichunlu
Wednesdays, Track Workout, 7:30-8:30, Bang Fields near Gulou
Sundays, Big Brother Practice, 12-4, ISB.
there will be no practice this weekend, but big brother will be putting on a clinic at china nationals as they embarrass doc’s team. twice.
_________WEEKLY ITEM #2: Upcoming Tournaments
May 15-16: China Nationals, Beijing
June 5-6: Shanghai
June 19-20: Chengdu Hat
July 4-10: Worlds in Praguethe scrimmage this sunday between bang and big brother was an epic battle. the game saw scores of 2-2, 7-4, 7-7, 11-12 and 13-12, with big brother narrowly pulling out the win. really, this game had no losers. bang’s zone was tight in the unpredictable wind and forced big brother out of its comfort zone. big brother showed some patience and had some beautiful zone offense points. both teams are ready to bring some championships back to beijing.
betsy saw many sexy things during the game.
jim’s callahan ftw was sexy.
kevin’s layout hammer grab in the endzone was sexy.
bill’s throws were all sexy.
bang’s nine women were sexy.
bang’s four women who played with big brother were sexy.
the wind was sexy.
joe’s policing of the sideline was sexy.
matt’s grey shirt was sexy.
caleb and joel battling deep is sexy.
baby shyu is sexy, but not in a creepy, leering way.
bang’s multiple upwind points were sexy.
ken’s language was both foul and sexy.
the spirit was sexy._________
now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.
a shout out to joe. your performance in mini on sunday reminds everyone of why you were once called mini-hulk.
a call out to women everywhere. why are you so few this weekend? was it all the leering last weekend?
a shout out to matt. this week, matt wins the award for being shouted out most often, without even being a member of the group site.
a call out to the chait. maybe if your butt wasn’t so big, you wouldn’t be getting jeff kicked out of parties all the time.
a rare shout to doc. the ultimate frisbee + ultimate fighting championship mashup wins.
a shout out to mad men parties. you are the greatest parties ever. please continue to hold yourselves on a regular basis. that is all.
a call out to nina. high heels plus already tall girl makes tiny guys like jim and joe feel extra insecure. on second thought, carry on.
_________WEEKLY ITEM #3: MAILBAG
every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.
Letter #1:
Hi Betsy,
As the self-proclaimed “Godfather of China Ultimate”, I’m very excited to return for China Nationals this year. Is there anything I can help with the logistics or anything?
Can’t wait to catch up!
Jasondear mr. cox,
after leaving beijing with your chinese biddy, many hearts were broken. baijiu chugging became a thing of the past. vomiting at beijing ultimate events plummeted to an all time low. tao became the standard for gentlemenly behavior. it’s not to late to turn that around. the future of beijing ultimate looks to old, wrinkly, relics of the past to show them how it’s done. this is your chance. step up.
betsy
xxxoooLetter #2
Hi Betsy,
Even though i returned to Providence, I read your weekly e-mail all the time. I even go back and read old ones when i’m bored. Which is a lot. Sometimes i share them with my family and friends, or record myself reciting witty passages to use as my ringtone. What i’m trying to say is, keep up the good work. I’m so excited to be back in Beijing this summer!
Missing Beijing and Betsy,
~Chironadear chirona,
if memory serves, you were the one who brought us this:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007195&id=1378740071your return is eagerly anticipated by all.
betsy
xxxooo_________
and finally, your moment of zen…
11th edition rules clarifications for observers re: penalties for
offsides.VIII. Starting and Restarting Play
B. Pull:
4. Positioning before the pull:
a) After signaling readiness, players on the pulling team may move anywhere in their end zone, but their feet may not cross the vertical plane of the goal line until the disc is released.
b) After signaling readiness, players on the receiving team must be in contact with the goal line that they are defending without changing location relative to one another.
c) After the disc is released, it is in play and any player may move in any direction.
d) If either team fails to maintain proper positioning before the pull, the other team may audibly announce “off-sides” and a re-pull ensues. The call must be made before any player on the receiving team touches the disc.
e) In games where Observers are used, the Observers may monitor and call offsides as appropriate. The first instance of offsides for each team will result in a warning and a re-pull. After a team has received its warning, any further instances of offsides are treated as follows:
(1) receiving team offsides: receiving team starts with the disc at the midpoint of the end zone they are defending, after players set up and a check is performed.
(2) pulling team offsides: receiving team starts with the disc at midfield, after players set up and a check is performed.rules clarifications are sexy.
catch you on the field,
betsy
xxxooo
