Friday, May 22, 2009

WEEK IN REVIEW: What do you think?


Do you really want to know?


Betsy, 5/19/09:

fantastic plastic fanatics,

besty loves everyone in beijing ultimate the same, whether you are sexy or ugly, good or evil, sandy or tao. this weekend was special though, and she was struck by something unknown to her; pride for others than herself. china nationals was impressive and thought-provoking. one thought in particular: if big brother ever loses to high school kids, everyone is off the team and it will be replaced by high school kids. that gavin is so dreamy.

WEEKLY ITEM #1: The Weekly Schedule

Every Tuesday, Pick Up, 8-10, Deshengmen

Saturday May 23, Big Brother practice, location and time TDB

Sunday May 24, Spring League Hat Tournament and BBQ bus from dzm at 11:15am. duff promised plenty of coke at the bbq. betsy was going to make a joke about getting seven on the line, or whites vs darks, but doesn’t want to provoke mini hulk from his winter slumber. who’s a good hulky. you are. you’re a good hulk.

every week, betsy gets a lot of emails inviting her out on dates, complementing her on her leadership skills, asking her ultimate related questions, and wanting to know who she is. the mailbag is where she answers these questions. as always, these are real letters from real readers.

Letter #1:

hi betsy,
have you seen my bunny? or my panda backpack? they are not lost or anything, they are just both really cute.


dear p-nut,
that’s sweet. tell me more.


Letter # 2:

dear betsy,
i know tao is an easy target. he’s kinda awkward, generally says silly things, likes to play with battlestar galactica dolls, and is a blogger. but I miss being the center of attention every week. has my time passed?

missing the old days,

dear sandy,
you’re right about tao. but don’t forget, he’s also pretty bad at other things too, like badminton and bowling. don’t worry, he can’t keep it up forever. eventually he’ll start doing some less awkward things and betsy will give him a rest. hang in there.


Letter #3:

dear betsy,
i heard both big brother teams got squashed in the first round on saturday. obviously i wasn’t there, but seriously, what gives?

can’t wait for shanghai!
ken 2.0

dear ken 2.0,
betsy was too busy with your mom to make those games so she has no idea what happened. but if anyone ever brings it up again, betsy will deflect by making a mom joke.


now is the time in the weekly email when betsy gives her weekly shout outs, and call outs. remember, you want to get shouted out, but you don't want to get called out.

a shout out to zahlen. now where’s betsy’s free case-it gear?

a shout out to jeff. infinity. you win. betsy will have* your babies now.

a call out to shen. we all know you’re really a foreigner. just because you pull your shorts up to your nipples, doesn’t make you chinese. you need the wife-beater rolled up to your shoulders too.

a shout out to tao. despite not giving betsy’s team a first game on sunday, she was mildly impressed by your efforts. whenceforth you get a pass for the rest of this week’s e-mail. savor it.

a call out to doc. yellow makes you look gay. everyone knows green peeps are the best.

a shout out to lincoln. or aaron. betsy forgets which.

a call out to the other one.


WEEKLY ITEM #3: Lunch time Poll
which of these are the main reason big brother is going to dominate at shanghai:
a) big brother’s unstoppable roster of women, you all make betsy want to experiment more.
b) a)
c) both of the above.

which brings us finally to your moment of zen… a baby picture from doc’s modeling days:

he peaked at three, it was all downhill from there.

catch you on the field,

* betsy will not have your babies.

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